A Stag With A Soul
by OriginalProxy
Summary: Lily excells in divination, so when she sees a great hulking deer instead of her soul-mate, she is suitably upset. Her boyfriend Amos is just happy that she didn't see someone other than him. The Marauders try to cheer up Lily, without telling the truth.
1. Mirror Image

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Most of the nouns and a few of the adjectives, verbs and phrases belong to the wonderful author of the Harry Potter series. This is fan fiction, you should know that. The only point I'll defend myself on are the ideas and the arrangement of the words. The mirror- soul-mate trick is actually stolen with love from Mark Twain. Professor Metoki is mine (baring some strange cryptomnesia), as are any other characters you don't recognize. SELF DEPRICATING STATEMENT: this is my first fan fiction, so it probably sucks.  
  
Divination was one of Lily's best subjects, so as she lifted her mirror, ignoring the giggling girls, she had no doubt that she would see something. Professor Metoki said she obviously had psychic talent; perhaps she was one of the rare true seers. Lily had researched in advance on today's project; it was supposed to be so easy that even most muggles could do it, if they chose the right day. Every one of the giggling girls would get it right.  
  
Lily nervously extended her right hand as far as it would go and gazed easily into the mirror. It quivered slightly in her hand, but immediately she saw something. Something that almost made her drop the mirror.  
  
She had been prepared to see someone other than her boyfriend. She had even prepared herself for the rare possibility that she wouldn't even see a boy or a person her own age. She was not remotely prepared to see a great hulking deer! Sure, it was a very impressive looking, beautiful, almost silver Stag with a splendid rack of antlers, but that didn't change the fact that it was not even human!  
  
"Professor, I'm sure I did this wrong, tell me what I'm doing wrong," she shouted frantically. The professor smiled and walked over to her kindly.  
  
"You look like you did everything perfectly, Lily. Don't worry. Even if you saw someone you don't particularly like, or someone who isn't very attractive, there is no guarantee that you'll ever meet your soul-mate in real life. I know you're probably disappointed that you didn't see your boyfriend, but."  
  
"Screw my boyfriend, I didn't even see a human," Lily interrupted, knowing how rude it was, but not caring.  
  
"What do you mean, child," the grandmotherly professor inquired anxiously.  
  
"I mean, I saw an animal! A great, big stag shining silver in the moonlight with an enormous rack of antlers was the only thing in my mirror. There wasn't even a person standing next to it or anything," Lily felt tears spring to her eyes. She would much prefer not to have a soul-mate than to have an animal for one.  
  
"Well," Professor Metoki tried to think of something comforting, "Maybe your soul-mate is an animagus, or was transfigured by a dark wizard. There are enough of them running around. Don't worry too much about it. In fact, you should put it out of your head. If you would like, you are excused from the rest of the lesson, as well as any homework relating to this assignment, even though I'm sure you've already completed it. There will be no questions about this on the exam."  
  
"Thank you professor," Lily said, trying to smile, but failing. She gathered her things and walked to the back of the classroom, leaving her mirror perched on the edge of the table.  
  
"Lily, wait up," Peter said, running out of the classroom after her. "I couldn't help but overhear, actually, the whole class couldn't, but did you really see a stag?"  
  
"Peter," Lily said, turning to him, the tears starting to fall, "would I make that up?"  
  
"Of course you wouldn't, I mean, though, are you sure it was a stag and not a horse or something?"  
  
"What the fuck does it matter," Lily yelled. Immediately she regretted losing her temper. "Sorry, Pete, yes I'm sure it was a stag. It was a very nice looking stag, too, just a very, very disappointing one."  
  
"I'm sorry Lil', I don't know why I asked suck a stupid question. You don't need to apologize for blowing up. Don't worry about it, Metoki is right, you're soul mate is probably just an animagus."  
  
"Nope," she said, lowering her head despondently.  
  
"What do you mean, nope?"  
  
"I did a report on animagi my third year, not one of them could turn into a stag and there have only been five registered animagi in the past century. So unless they've been transfigured (in which case I'll never meet them), my soul mate is a deer."  
  
"Well, it could be worse. At least it's the monarch of the glen, not the mouse or a snake."  
  
Lily laughed and wiped away her tears. "Thanks, Peter, you Marauders always know what to say to cheer a girl up. That said, I'm glad you're the only one taking divination with me. I'd have hated for all of you to see me blow up like that. I won't ask you to keep it a secret, but if you wouldn't mind downplaying it, I'd be much obliged."  
  
"Anything for our flower," Peter said gallantly, bowing in a comical fashion.  
  
Lily nodded in acknowledgement and proceeded back to the Gryffindor common room. Peter watched her go with a strange smile on her face before turning back into the classroom.  
  
"Eeek! What are you doing back, Lily," Sirius asked, quickly hiding something as he saw the Head Girl enter the common room far earlier than expected.  
  
"Not that I should need to ask, seeing as you're sitting with the incredibly guilty looking Head Boy, but what are you hiding and why aren't you in Arithmancy right now?" Lily had hoped for a little peace and quiet to sort through her thoughts, but maybe the distraction of handing out a pair of detentions would suffice.  
  
"Actually," James cut in, "Professor Vector had an emergency; a family member was killed by a Death Eater only a few hours before our class so it was canceled. There was no available substitute."  
  
"That's terrible," Lily gasped. "I'm sorry for accusing you." She let the information sink in. It was rare that a day went by without hearing rumors of the growing dark forces. She was very, very afraid. Then she realized that Sirius still had his hands behind his back and he was trying to inch away from her without being noticed. "That still doesn't answer question number one. What are you hiding Sirius?"  
  
"That, we don't have to answer," James said cockily. "I, as Head Boy, give you my word that it is not contraband of any sort."  
  
"James, you're a Marauder, your word as Head Boy is worth about as much as the square of toilet paper you'd write it on."  
  
"I love you, too, Lily," he said, grinning at her.  
  
"I don't have the energy for this today, boys, I'm going up to my dorm."  
  
"Hey," James called, when she was almost to the stairs. "What about you, shouldn't you be in Divination?"  
  
She turned back to face him, and he absolutely hated what he saw in her face when she said, "I have a special dispensation. I'll see you in Care of Magical Creatures."  
  
"I hope she's okay," Sirius said, removing the Filibuster Fireworks and notebook from behind his back, then getting up to fish for a firework that fell into the seam of the chair.  
  
"Me too," James replied, not at all sure that she was.  
  
Thirty minutes later, Peter came into the common room, chatting lightly with Frank Longbottom. He headed straight for James, looking like he'd just discovered that Severus Snape slept with a teddy bear named "Pookie".  
  
"What is it," James asked, still a little worried about Lily, but catching wind of the fact that something wonderful was about to be told.  
  
"Lily is your soul-mate. Or, you are Lily's soul mate. I don't know how it works, all I know is that we did the soul-mate spell in Divination today and Lily saw you." James was ecstatic for 6.251 seconds; then he sank back into the chair, utterly deflated. "She didn't want to see me. She is in love with Amos. That is why she is so depressed. That's why she looked at me with a broken heart when she said the word 'dispensation'. Shit, what do I do, Sirius?"  
  
"Remus will know," Sirius replied, putting his hand on James' shoulder. "If anyone can find out what someone else is thinking, it's Moony."  
  
"Wait, James, you don't need to worry about that, she didn't know it was you she was seeing," Peter interjected, finally cottoning on to why James was so depressed.  
  
"What do you mean, Wormtail," James asked, looking sharply at him. "I thought that was a very straight forward spell, you see the reflection of your soul mate, no strings attached, no interpretations."  
  
"It is. She just happened to see you as Prongs. She's pissed because she thinks her soul mate is either a wild animal or someone transfigured by a dark wizard. Which puts us in a tight spot."  
  
"I'll say. James can't exactly waltz up to her and say, dump Amos for me because I'm your soul-mate, because then she'd know Prongs was an animagus, and it wouldn't be much of a guess to discover other secrets. At all costs we protect Moony." Sirius looked at James, for once in his life living up to his name.  
  
"Protect me from what," Remus asked, walking up to the group.  
  
"James' temptation to run up to the girl's dorm and tell Lily that he's an animagus," Peter replied with a grin.  
  
Remus paled slightly, "I understand you don't want to lie to her, but it isn't like she's your girlfriend or anything."  
  
"Moony, you've walked in at the middle, and I wasn't the one who suggested telling Lily anything," James said, gesturing for his friend to sit down. "Long and the short of it is, Lily did the soul mate spell in divination and saw a stag, meaning I'm her soul mate, but she doesn't and can't know it."  
  
Remus regained his composure, and looked straight into his friend's eyes. "You can tell her if you want to, Prongs. Lily has a kind heart; she would keep the secret even if she did stay away from me after she found out."  
  
"Moony, I'm sure she wouldn't shun you," Sirius said.  
  
"Padfoot, do you remember when there was a Bogart in the first years' dorm and Lily went to expel it? It turned into a werewolf." Remus smiled slightly, "It isn't her fault. I am a terrifying creature, and as brave as Lily is, it will take her time to get used to the idea."  
  
"You are jumping to conclusions, I'm not telling her anything just yet." When the three other Marauders looked at him in surprise, James continued. "For one thing, Lily likes rules far too much to date an illegal animagi, and for another, she really does love Amos. She is happy with him, and he is a good guy. I can't swoop in and take her just because we've discovered third hand that she might be my soul mate."  
  
"James," Remus said, disbelievingly, "this is LILY. This is your chance to be with LILY."  
  
"It won't be the last opportunity to tell her how I feel, but if she turns me down because she's dating Amos and she loves him, I'll never have the courage to try again. If we are soul mates, then we're destined for each other, right? And if I'm wrong, then I'll stop her wedding by dramatically turning into a stag and catching her veil with my teeth, telling her I'm the one she should be with."  
  
"I guess," Sirius began, only to be interrupted by the subject of discussion coming down to the common room and skipping up to the group.  
  
"Guys, you'll be late to Care of Magical Creatures if you sit here much longer." She gave them one of her dazzling smiles and grabbed her friend Elizabeth, rushing out ahead of them.  
  
"Looks like something cheered her up," Peter said, puzzled.  
  
"Doesn't matter what it was," James said softly, "as long as it keeps that smile on her face."  
  
"That's so sweet I think I'm gonna go Technicolor yawn," Sirius whimpered playfully. "Come on, we'll be late for ol' peg-leg's class!"  
  
***  
  
Professor Kettleburn had taught everyone to charm their voices to attract non-magical creatures, so his lesson had been very enjoyable. Lily felt even better after eating dinner at the Hufflepuff table with her perfect boyfriend Amos. He was so willing to listen about her soul mate spell even though it hadn't depicted him that she almost felt guilty about her plan.  
  
Not guilty enough, however. At midnight she levitated herself out of her window and down to the grounds. Knowing exactly how many, and which, school rules she was breaking, Lily crept stealthily toward the Forbidden Forest. 'Safe' under the eaves of the wood, she lit her wand and immediately began her search.  
  
Lily's luck did not stay with her. Out of the canopy, a giant spider attacked her. Before she could raise her wand, it had fallen on her, crushing her to the ground under its weight. She could hear its mandibles clacking; feel its sharp, coarse leg hair scraping up against her arm. Then, there was no weight pressing her and no spider over her. Something had hit it and it had scattered back into the forest. Lily sat up, shaking her head to clear it.  
  
The stag, upon seeing her get up, shied away to leave. It looked exactly like the stag from her vision, there was something here that needed an explanation, but Lily wasn't sure how to get it.  
  
"Wait," she croaked, "please don't leave!"  
  
The stag halted abruptly and stood there, looking uncertain, if a stag can look uncertain.  
  
"That answers one question," Lily whispered, standing up. "If you weren't a perfectly normal stag, my voice charm wouldn't work on you."  
  
The stag strode tentatively forward and nuzzled her shoulder.  
  
"Hello to you, too," Lily said, grinning. She stroked its head a little, then stooped to pick up her wand. When her wand was firmly in hand, the stag began to push her. For a moment she was worried, but it still didn't seem dangerous and she noted that its gentle shoves were very much toward the edge of the forest.  
  
"I guess I will just have to come back tomorrow to pick up a moon flower. I don't feel up to facing anything in the forest anymore." She walked along with the stag, as it seemed determined to escort her out of the forest. "I guess you're wondering what a girl like me is doing in a place like this?"  
  
The stag snorted suddenly, Lily would almost swear it was a stifled laugh.  
  
"Well, as it turns out, you are my soul mate, or another stag that looks an awful lot like you. No offense, but stags pretty much look the same to me unless they have really identifying marks. So I found another spell I can use to see the person I am meant to be with, which isn't exactly the same thing as a soul mate. Hopefully, I won't see a deer this time." Lily smiled and chuckled softly. To her surprise, the stag continued walking with her after they left the forest. When they were a safe distance from the edge she stopped.  
  
"I hope I see you tomorrow. I'll bring sugar and some apples in case I do, after all, I owe you something for saving my life." She kissed the stag's nose, and turned around to sneak up to the castle.  
  
If she had been looking, Lily would have sworn the stag was grinning. 


	2. Insecurities, Cheer Leaders, and aide

DISCLAIMER: I've stolen the world and the characters from J.K. Rowling. As much as I wish I were an incredibly creative British author, I'm just a poor idiot from America.  
  
Amos Diggory was as much of a friend to James Potter as it was possible for two different Quidditch Captains to be. They fought viciously on the field, but in class and in the halls they had far too much in common to be rude to one another. They were both intelligent, funny and giggled over by half of the female population at Hogwarts. Amos paid a little more attention to the rules than James did, but their minds worked the same way, and they liked each other.  
  
Amos really did like James Potter, but he was tired of losing every contest to him. Gryffindor always won the Quidditch Cup, and because of that they usually took the House Cup too. The House Cup wasn't really something Amos chalked up to losing to James, because James usually hurt the points competition more than he helped it. Hufflepuff just didn't get the in-class points that the other houses seemed to earn hand over fist. Amos could stand losing Quidditch matches to James because he won some too, but when James was made Head Boy over Amos, it hurt. There was no contest he could win to top that; it was pointless to try, but it left Amos with the feeling that whether or not he deserved it, James got everything Amos wanted. This left Amos rather anxious for his Gryffindor girlfriend.  
  
Amos trusted Lily completely and knew she would never hurt him, but when she told him she was doing a soul mate spell, his heart nearly dropped out of his stomach. He knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she would see James and he would lose his perfect girl to the perfect boy. When she later told him that she had seen a stag, he had to forcibly restrain himself from shouting with joy. He didn't care if she saw He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named himself, as long as she didn't see James.  
  
Amos knew this was unfair to Lily, and to James, but he couldn't help the way he felt. He couldn't help loving Lily, and he couldn't help feeling deep within his heart that she didn't belong to him.  
  
James flopped onto Sirius and sighed, causing the bigger boy to shout and wake up the rest of the dormitory. Luckily, Frank could sleep through anything, so only the Marauders threw pillows at James where he landed on the floor. "Sorry, Sirius," James sighed again, stretching and letting the pillows fall where they would. "I forgot we switched beds."  
  
"We switched beds a month ago, Antler-brain. What the hell is wrong with you?" Sirius sat up and glared at his friend, who dropped languidly into his own bed.  
  
"She kissed me," James stated simply, causing the rest of the Marauders to sit up quickly and stare at him.  
  
"Lily?!" Remus asked, stunned.  
  
"Yeah," James said, sighing happily again against his pillow. "I mean, she thought I was a regular wild animal, but still. a kiss is a kiss."  
  
"Lily just goes around kissing wild animals?" Sirius asked. "Maybe I'll do my lovable stray impression for her."  
  
"Don't even think about it, Padfoot," James stated happily. "I was out running and I saved her from one of those giant spiders."  
  
"You didn't leave immediately after," Peter asked. "That's dangerous; she'll know you weren't a random stag."  
  
"She was so hurt and groggy, I couldn't, but its okay, because she thought it was her voice charm from Peg-leg's class today."  
  
"That's lucky," Remus said. "I don't suppose you know what the perfect prefect was doing out and about at midnight in the Forbidden Forest?"  
  
"Looking for moonflowers to do a different version of the soul mate spell, which will hopefully show her me in human form, thus solving all of my problems," James replied with a grin.  
  
"Did she find any," Sirius asked astutely.  
  
"Nope, she's going back out tomorrow. I was going to shadow her as Prongs to keep her out of trouble."  
  
"Just make sure she finds some tomorrow, otherwise she'll go out again during the full moon," Remus said, warily.  
  
"I'll keep her safe, don't worry so much Moony."  
  
"Groovy," Sirius said. "Now all of us except Prongs can go back to bed and he can sigh into the darkness about how Lily's lips felt against his fur."  
  
The Marauders all turned over and went back to sleep, except James who followed Sirius' suggestion to the letter.  
  
The next day was a Saturday, and also the first Quidditch match of the season, Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw. The entire school turned out in full force to watch the match. Lily sat with the other Gryffindors, but she wore Hufflepuff's colors and waved flags with brilliant badgers emblazoned on them.  
  
"You know, Lily, its good to support your boyfriend and all, but you might be taking this a little far," Elizabeth said, sitting next to her.  
  
"Bet you he catches the snitch before an hour is up," Lily stated proudly.  
  
"That's a bet I wouldn't take unless they were playing Gryffindor," James responded from Lily's other side.  
  
"He did it once," Lily defended.  
  
"Two years ago, and Sirius was out of the game for turning Snape into a giant cobra," Remus added from behind her.  
  
"Everyone's against Amos, I should be sitting with the Hufflepuffs," Lily huffed.  
  
"Hey," Elizabeth cried, "I didn't mean it like that!"  
  
"And I said I wouldn't take that bet today, you're probably right." James soothed her.  
  
"And I was too busy watching McMillan make a truly excellent play, which you lot missed, to argue," Sirius cut in.  
  
"What happened," Lily asked, her eyes darting around the field.  
  
"Suffice it to say, the score is now 10-0 Hufflepuff," Peter said, cheering with the rest of the crowd.  
  
Not wanting to miss anything else, the bickering students dropped the argument and focused their eyes on the players. After the game, they rushed the field with everyone else to give congratulations to the winners (Hufflepuff, 260-100). Lily rewarded her sweaty boyfriend with a big, public kiss and later with an even bigger private snog.  
  
"I love you," he whispered to her as they parted for their separate houses.  
  
"I love you, too," she said, with a soft smile. "And that was a really well played game."  
  
"Who will you be supporting in the next match?" The next match was Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor.  
  
"Whoever looks like they're losing," she said, giving her age old answer. He returned her smile then, and they left on their separate paths.  
  
At five minutes after midnight, James dashed out of the common room, still wearing his invisibility cloak, realizing that Lily must have taken the window and could have been out for an hour already.  
  
At seven minutes after midnight, Lily's broom floated slowly to the ground outside of her window only to see her stag sprinting toward the forest. "Stag," she called, briefly forgetting how many rules she was breaking.  
  
Surprisingly, the stag stopped cold and turned to look at her. She didn't have her voice charm, but she got out one of the apple's she'd brought and walked slowly toward it. She was trying not to startle it, so it took her quite a while to cross the grounds, but she was completely unsure of why the animal didn't bolt immediately. When she got close enough, she offered the apple to him. He sniffed it tentatively, and then nibbled on it. When he finished it off in a few quick munches, she offered him a sugar cube. He seemed to like this, too and allowed her to pet him.  
  
"You need a name, Mr. Stag," Lily whispered to him. "If I'm going to keep talking to you, I'd like to know who I'm talking to. I think I'll call you. I don't know, Coathanger? On account of those huge pronged antlers you wave about so proudly. Hm, maybe Prongs. I've heard Sirius call James that, although that will stay between us, I wouldn't want James to know I named you after him. No, that would never do." She smiled. "I'll give you a carrot if you agree to keep this our secret." The stag didn't say anything, so she gave him a carrot.  
  
"As much as I'd love to stay out here with you, I really do need to go into the forest. I have to get those moonflowers tonight or I'll have to wait three days to come out again." The stag cocked its head at her as she began to walk away. Then it seemed to make up its mind and follow her. They walked together into the forest.  
  
Lily looked around diligently, but couldn't stand the oppressive silence after a while.  
  
"I wish you could understand me," she said softly, "I'd really like someone to talk to right now. And I could warn you to be careful tomorrow. I mean, I know they aren't supposed to be a danger to normal animals, and that's all you seem to be, but I'll worry about you all the same." The stag stopped walking.  
  
"What is the matter Prongs, why have you stopped?" Lily looked around for something dangerous, and instead saw the softly glowing flowers she was searching for. "Oh, Prongs, you're amazing! I would have completely missed them!" She pecked the stag's cheek and went to pick the flowers. When the flowers were safely tucked into her bag, she gave the animal another apple. It munched happily and walked with her out of the forest.  
  
"I do believe you're the tamest stag I've ever met, Prongs," Lily smiled. "I wonder if you're some wizard's pet down in Hogsmead." The stag did not answer, so she continued. "I do feel safer when you're around, though I hope you won't be insulted when I tell you that I still don't think you're my soul mate. When the full moon is over, though, I'll come back out here again and bring you some more food. After all, you need to fatten up for winter and I still haven't thanked you properly for saving my life or finding my moonflowers."  
  
Lily stroked the stag's neck while they walked, but when they reached the edge of the forest, Prongs shied and sprang away. Feeling a little less safe as she crossed the school grounds and used her hidden broom to soar back up to the girls' dorm, Lily wondered what had spooked her friend.  
  
James did a victory lap around the entire Forbidden Forest. From what he knew about the spell Lily was attempting, she should know they belonged together within a week. Then she would break up with Amos, and he wouldn't have to do a thing! He could get Lily without being the bad guy, stay friends with Amos, and never have to risk Lily hating him for his unimpeachable conduct. It was almost too perfect. 


	3. Lets Talk About This Like Adults

DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling is the owner of the intellectual real estate where I'm staging this and the mother of nearly all of my actors and actresses, I'm only laying claim to the script. Please don't sue me, I'm not making any money from this, and I didn't have any to start with.  
  
Sunday was relaxing, even at Hogwarts. Lily had finished most of her homework on Saturday after the Quidditch match while Amos was celebrating with his teammates in their common room. She was just finishing off a leisurely charms scroll when James stumbled down from the boys dormitory.  
  
"Good morning, sunshine," she called, grinning. "How late were you boys out last night, and how much trouble did you get into?"  
  
"We weren't out," Sirius said, bounding in from the portrait hole. "Unless Jamesy-boy went out without us, he sometimes goes to the pitch when he has trouble sleeping. Is something on your mind, Jamie?"  
  
"Shut your pie-hole, Padfoot," James grumbled. "How can both of you be so perky so early?"  
  
"James, it is eleven o'clock." Lily laughed, turning back to her charms homework.  
  
"Whatever," James said. "I know you are lying, because I in no way feel like I got eight hours of sleep."  
  
"God, you were out until three?" Lily turned back to him, "That's really bad for your health, James. You should take better care of yourself. If you get sick, we'll lose the match in two weeks."  
  
"Nice to know you care," James said, giving a brave smile that made his eyes look almost normal. "How late were you out," he asked.  
  
"What do you mean," Lily inquired quickly. "Unlike you, I don't take my Head Girl badge to mean free hall pass."  
  
"It is eleven o'clock and you still haven't finished your work. You're usually done by nine thirty when we have a load this light, and I know you didn't have any divination."  
  
"There was a match yesterday," Lily protested.  
  
"Bull, where were you? Snogging with Diggory? On second thought, I'm sure that's where you were, so forget I asked," James grinned at the uncomfortable look on her face. He knew she didn't like him picturing her in the astronomy tower after hours with her boyfriend, but she definitely wouldn't admit to running around in the Forbidden Forest. Finally, she shrugged.  
  
"It is none of your business where I was, but I'll tell you that you're wrong and we can drop the subject."  
  
Unfortunately for Lily, Sirius liked the subject too much to let it drop. "So you were snogging someone else? Whoa, you'd better hope Amos doesn't find out. He'll kill to keep you."  
  
"Shut up, Sirius," Lily deadpanned.  
  
Elizabeth walked into the common room, talking with two sixth year girls. "Hey, Lily, Amos was looking for you in the library. Did you have a date with him today, or something?"  
  
"Shit," Lily cried, throwing her scrolls and school books into her satchel. "I'm late. I'll talk to you boys later."  
  
With that she sprinted out of the common room, through the hallways, avoiding the trick stairs, and arrived panting in the library, where Amos immediately broke into laughter. "You're only ten minutes late. I was early."  
  
"I'm still sorry," she said, with a gracious smile. "Shall we?" Lily offered him her arm which he took and escorted her to a table near a window that was flooded with sunlight. Lily didn't exactly need tutoring, and neither did Amos, but they both found it helpful to discuss Defense Against the Dark Arts aloud with someone so that they could formulate their opinions. In class, they were discussing werewolf rights, so Amos thought they could start with anti-discrimination laws that would help werewolf wizards get jobs.  
  
"Before we start, I should tell you something," Lily said quietly. "I'm prejudiced in this discussion. You see, I know a werewolf."  
  
"Really," Amos asked.  
  
"Well, I should probably say knew. She was put to death after killing my father," Lily said.  
  
"What happened," Amos asked. "You never did tell me how your father died."  
  
"It was the summer after fifth year, I don't know if I ever told you that. She was my neighbor, her name was Miss Ella Hurst and she was the only other witch in my neighborhood. We had tea occasionally, and I always wondered why she lived among muggles. I didn't know she was a werewolf, I just assumed she'd been muggle-born and liked it. I suppose I should have guessed something was wrong with her, I mean, she worked a muggle job (not even a very nice one) and she transfigured her own clothes, bed, everything. At that point, I thought it was really cool, but looking back I know I should have noticed something.  
  
"As it later turned out, she had a steel cage in her basement that she would lock herself into every night of the full moon. On the second night that month however, someone apparently apparated into her home and let her out once she'd take her wolf form. I believe it was a Voldemort supporter who wanted to kill muggles and get a death sentence for a good witch.  
  
"Luckily, or extremely unluckily, my dad had just parked his car on the street when the wolf exploded out of the house. I heard him scream from my living room, and I dashed out, wand in hand. I used stupefy on her three times before she was stunned enough for me to drag my dad away. Ministry officials were there minutes later. My dad was taken to St. Mungo's and I was commended, but he died an hour after he got there. Miss Hurst didn't remember anything, and she was so sorry that I had to forgive her. I even spoke for her at her hearing, but she was put to death. I've been absolutely terrified of werewolves since then, but I know that they are no different than other people when they are not in wolf form."  
  
"Wow," Amos said. He couldn't think of anything else to say. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what that must have been like."  
  
"Well, that's my story. We can discuss the issues now." And as Amos really had no response to her story, they did discuss the issues. An hour later, they headed to lunch together, having both completed their essays.  
  
The couple ate at the Gryffindor table, where Sirius teased them mercilessly about being out after hours, but stopped immediately after Amos looked questioningly at Lily, causing her to kick Sirius under the table repeatedly. Sirius looked truly sorry, and didn't even mention the fact that he was being kicked. Amos suggested a walk around the lake, so they went out into the early fall weather. It only took him a few seconds to ask.  
  
"Where were you, really, last night?"  
  
Lily took a deep breath. "I was gathering moonflowers in the Forbidden Forest."  
  
"Why? Do you know how many rules that is breaking?"  
  
"I want to try a different spell to find my soul mate. I can't deal with the fact that my soul mate isn't human. That just isn't possible. I need to try it again, but I can't do that spell again because I'd have to wait another month or two even for the right sort of day. That spell must have something wrong with it, or something that won't work for me or my soul mate."  
  
"Why do you care who your soul mate is, anyway? Aren't we happy together? Will you break up with me if your soul mate ends up being, I don't know, Sirius Black? Can you see how this looks to me? It's making me very insecure." Amos knew that honesty was the best policy with Lily, but he couldn't bring himself to bring up James, he knew that was just pointless jealousy, so he used Sirius instead, knowing Lily and Sirius were springs wound in opposite directions. Pushing them together would just get everything tangled up.  
  
"Sirius? I do understand what you are saying, although I think you are overlooking the obvious possibility that you are my soul mate. Frankly it makes me a little nervous that you don't think we are meant to be together. Supposing, though, that you think I'm the one of that opinion, you should know better. It upset me to find out that my soul mate is an animal, someone I'll never even have the chance to speak with because he can't speak back. I suppose it could have been worse, I could have seen Voldemort or Narcissa Adams, but it was pretty bad. You need to understand that who my soul mate is says something pretty specific about me. If my soul mate were evil, it would mean I am evil. If the being in the world that I am most suited to be with is a very big, very tame stag with great coat hangers on his head, a being that can't really think, speak or feel in any distinct, human way, what does that say about me? I'd just like a second opinion."  
  
"I just wish you'd assume I was your soul mate like we did before you tried that spell. I don't know why, but it bugs me that you need confirmation."  
  
"You're lying," Lily knew, suddenly. "Please tell me the truth. What bothers you? What are you really afraid of? You know I won't leave you no matter who I see."  
  
"That's what bothers me, and what I'm afraid of," Amos said, giving up. "I'm afraid you'll see James. No, don't protest, I know you had a bit of a thing for him third year, and I know you got over it well before we got together last year, you told me all of that, and I believe it. I know you don't have any feelings for him, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any feelings for you, because he's the sort of guy who would come right out and tell you even if you do have a boyfriend. The thing is; James is like a better version of me, when you think about it. His Quidditch team hasn't lost the cup since he was made Captain. He is Head Boy when I'm only a Prefect. I make the occasional joke; he turns everyone in Slytherine's hair red and gold. I know I'm exaggerating, but I can't help but be a little jealous of him at times, and since the two of you are in Gryffindor together, he's known you for longer, you get along really well. I'm just nervous that I'll lose the last, most important contest to Potter."  
  
"Wow," Lily said. It was her turn to be at a loss for words. "How long have you felt this way?"  
  
"The first day of school, when I found out he had made Head Boy. When it wasn't me, I thought it would be someone from Ravenclaw or Slytherine. I knew he had the grades, but I never expected that after all of his stunts they would actually make him Head Boy."  
  
"I think I can understand how you feel, but you know that thinking you'll lose me to James is just silly. I mean, I haven't even thought about him as a possibility for my soul mate."  
  
"That's why they make soul mate spells, because most of the time, it is some one you wouldn't expect, or someone right under your nose." Amos sighed, "But I know I'm just being petty. I just really don't want you to do that spell and see James. I'm so afraid to lose you, to anyone, but especially to him, because I think he is the one most likely to take you."  
  
"If you're that worried, I'll put off doing the spell." Lily sighed. "I'm getting a little chilly; let's go in now, okay?"  
  
"Alright."  
  
***  
  
Lily was lounging luxuriously in a comfortable chair, reading by the fire while Sirius, Elizabeth and James played exploding snap nearby. Remus and Peter had already gone up to bed. It was Wednesday, three days after Lily had agreed not to do the spell, and also the first day she was considering going out again to see Prongs. She had a few sugar cubes and an apple stowed away, but she wasn't sure he would be out there.  
  
"Bad move Prongsie," Sirius laughed as his friend was singed by the exploding deck.  
  
"Why do you call James Prongs," Lily asked suddenly, something was bothering her, but she wasn't sure what. Professor Metoki told her to go with her impulses when that happened, and it had never really failed before.  
  
Sirius started laughing. "When he was dating Rebecca Ashcourt fifth year, she was a seventh year, remember, she took him out somewhere, we never really found out where, and he came back piss drunk and butt naked! You may not know this about Prongs here, but."  
  
"I don't want to know," Lily shouted, plugging her ears. When it became apparent that Sirius had stopped talking and James was a lovely shade of magenta, she unplugged them. "If you ever try to tell me that story again, Sirius Black, I'll find some really illegal curse to use on you!"  
  
Sirius laughed again. "Hey, you asked. Speaking of asking, Exploding Snap is getting boring, does anyone want to play Campfire Questions?"  
  
"How do you know about Campfire Questions," Lily asked. Sirius came from a wizarding family.  
  
"My cousin and I went to a muggle sleep over a few summers ago."  
  
"I'll play," Elizabeth said.  
  
"I'm in, I guess," Lily agreed, laying aside her book.  
  
"Ditto," James stated, putting away the game of Exploding Snap. As he was the last person to agree to play, he had to ask first.  
  
"What is your biggest fear and why does it scare you," he asked, wondering how honest everyone would be.  
  
"Severus Snape in a thong," Sirius stated immediately getting a laugh from everyone. "If I need to explain what is terrifying about Snape in a bikini to anyone, I am never speaking to any of you ever again."  
  
"We can only hope," Lily and Elizabeth cried at the same time.  
  
"Being left alone, I mean really alone, never seeing anyone I know or love ever again," Elizabeth said quietly and anxiously. Lily gave her a hug; she knew Lizzy was still getting over her mother's death. "I love living with my aunt and all, but I've given a lot of thought to being alone, what with the whole being an orphan thing. I just think it would be terrible."  
  
"Werewolves," Lily stated simply. "My neighbor was a werewolf, and she killed my father during one of her transformations. I never suspected anything. I guess that's what scares me about werewolves, the unexpectedness. They can be the nicest people in the world, but when they transform, they are nothing but violence." Lily's voice was bored, almost detached while she said this, as though she was reciting from a carefully rehearsed script. She couldn't handle opening up about her father's death twice in one day. While Lily answered, she noticed Sirius staring at her, and she wondered briefly why.  
  
"Voldemort ruling the world," James said realistically. "I just can't imagine anything worse than a world ruled by Voldemort," James stated softly. "There would be widespread terror. Muggles would be rounded up for slaughter or slavery. Wizards with a conscience might be, at best, given a little corner of the world to ignore what was going on in the rest. At worst, killed or enslaved with the muggles. Dangerous creatures would be allowed to roam free, terrorizing the innocent, while good magical creatures would be lost to the world." There was a tear in his eye while he spoke, but he blinked it back and looked to Sirius to ask the next question. Everyone was surprised by the very clique query he chose.  
  
"Who was the last person you kissed?"  
  
"You," Elizabeth said quietly, her entire face turning fuchsia.  
  
"What," Lily exclaimed. "When? Where? Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Now, now, Lily," Sirius said, cutting off Elizabeth before she could answer. "It isn't your turn to ask a question, you have to answer mine."  
  
"Amos Diggory," she said grumpily, shooting an angry look at her friend.  
  
"Is it someone you kissed or someone who kissed you," James asked carefully.  
  
"Someone you initiated the kiss with," Sirius said with a smile.  
  
"Then I might have to change my answer," Lily said with a frown. "Amos hasn't waited for me to initiate anything for a week at least."  
  
"Well, yeah," Elizabeth retorted, "But you haven't kissed anyone else, have you?"  
  
"Unless the cheek of a stag counts, no," Lily muttered.  
  
"Aw, Lily, you found your soul mate, do tell," Sirius exclaimed happily.  
  
"That wasn't your question, Sirius," Lily said sweetly. "It is James's turn to answer now, not mine."  
  
James smiled and answered. "Molly Doyle, from Ravenclaw."  
  
"And my answer is Lizzy, which makes it her turn to ask a question."  
  
"You just wanted to announce to everyone that we kissed," she accused.  
  
"Yep," he replied with a cocky smirk.  
  
Lily grinned malevolently. "My turn, Elizabeth wasted her question on something specific. Describe the time and circumstances of the kiss you referred to earlier."  
  
"Right," James said with a grin. "Two weeks ago, outside of the transfiguration classroom. I'd walked her there and grabbed a kiss before I left her."  
  
"Two weeks," Sirius asked, wanting to delay his answer. "For you, two weeks is an eternity to be without a girl."  
  
"Not so much this year," Lily added, giving James a penetrating look. "You didn't go and grow up on us, did you?"  
  
James threw a grin at her, "That's not the question; it's Sirius' turn to answer."  
  
Lily grew a predatory smile. "So it is."  
  
"Alright then, about an hour and a half ago, just outside the common room. We had been talking in the library, I walked her back, and then I made a move. Not remotely a big deal, until she."  
  
"Hey, I tell that part," Elizabeth cut in, frantically afraid of whatever it was being told callously or as a joke by the Gryffindor jester. Then she froze, unable or unwilling to say whatever she wouldn't let Sirius tell.  
  
"Then tell it," James said, laughing at her.  
  
"Well, he started walking away, so I said, I don't remember what I said," Elizabeth began nervously.  
  
"She said," Sirius cut in helpfully, "'Is that all?'"  
  
"Yeah," Elizabeth said, squirming in her chair. "And then he turned around, and I grabbed him and, erm."  
  
"Snogged the hell out of me," Sirius interjected.  
  
Lily was too busy giggling to begin to answer.  
  
"Lily, I said person, and since animals are people, too, and you think the last time you chose to kiss Amos was before you kissed the deer or whatever, you have to tell us about that," Sirius said, still giggling about Elizabeth, who was shooting him an icy glare.  
  
"Fine then," Lily said, sitting up straight. "I was in the forbidden forest at midnight on Friday, and a stag saved my life. Never mind what I was doing there, I've cancelled that project because Amos asked me to."  
  
"You cancelled the project," James squeaked, interrupting her.  
  
"Yeah, that's what I said. So don't worry, I won't be going out after midnight anymore."  
  
"I think that's what he is worried about," Sirius interjected smoothly, "When you aren't breaking rules you pay a lot more attention to other people doing so."  
  
"Oh," Lily shot James a broad grin. "Don't worry about it James, I've given up on trying to catch you. Anyway, when I was leaving I kissed its nose, but that isn't the kiss I was referring to, because the next day I kissed Amos after the Quidditch match. I went back to the forest midnight after the Quidditch match again and I saw the stag again, gave it some apples and sugar, walked around, had a lovely talk and kissed it again on the cheek. So to be technical, that was the last creature I kissed."  
  
"Lovely," Sirius grinned. "And that would make it James' turn to ask a question."  
  
"What was your reason for breaking whatever the most recent school rule you broke was?" James smiled at Lily, and she knew he would find a way to get her to talk about her "project".  
  
"I don't like Snape," Sirius said. "I'm not sure what rule I broke, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with 'Don't put Engorgement Charms on the noses of slimy gits', because that is what I got detention for doing."  
  
"I like my Yelping Yoyo. I was playing with it this morning. It's on the contraband list, so I'm sure that counts." Elizabeth would have been hard pressed to think of a broken rule without her handy yoyo.  
  
"I didn't want my soul mate to be a dumb, mute animal, no matter how nice of an animal he is. I wanted to try a different spell, and I needed moonflowers to do the spell I found. I had to go to the Forbidden Forest to get them. I broke five rules while doing this, would you like me to list them?"  
  
"That won't be necessary," James said with a grin. "Why did you cancel the project if you cared enough about it to break five school rules?"  
  
"Amos asked me to."  
  
"So you just, did?" James looked at her quizzically. "Great reason, that. If I ask you to skip class tomorrow, would you?"  
  
"You're not by boyfriend, and my not skipping class wouldn't make you feel inadequate as my boyfriend, so no, I wouldn't."  
  
"Actually, that's a hell of a good reason," Sirius interjected, "And it's James' turn to answer."  
  
"I don't like Snape, I helped Sirius." James smiled. "And it is now his turn to ask a question."  
  
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done," he asked promptly.  
  
"Kissed you," Elizabeth answered just as quickly.  
  
"Ouch, that stings, love," Sirius grinned over at Lily, telling her it was her turn.  
  
"Done or had happen to me?"  
  
"Whichever you'd rather share," Sirius said, "I know what you did, and if you don't want to talk about it, that's okay."  
  
"I guess I will. Third year, Valentines Day, when I wrote that poem for James and he burst out laughing thinking it was a joke and you put me up to it, and he insisted on using the Sonarus Charm to read it to everyone in the common room, and didn't figure it out until I ran to the girls dormitory."  
  
"I really am sorry about that, Lily," James said, softly. "You know I wouldn't do it again, right, I just wasn't used to thinking of you as a girl."  
  
"That's okay, I got over you," Lily laughed aloud. "And Sirius beat you up for me, although you already felt bad enough."  
  
James grinned, "That makes it my turn then, huh? I'd have to go with Rebecca Ashcourt dumping me and listing all of my faults in the Great Hall a week before school let out fifth year, right after I told her I loved her and made those little red sparkles explode all over the hall because red was her favorite color."  
  
"Which brings us to me hitting James with a bludger on accident in my first real Quidditch match and makes it Beth's turn to ask a question," Sirius stated in a businesslike manner.  
  
"Actually, I'm sort of tired," Elizabeth said. "I think I'll head up to the girls dorm, you can carry on without me."  
  
"Nah, games over if you're gone," Sirius said, getting up and walking her to the stairs where they shared a small, lovely kiss. He then tore up the stairs to the boys rooms, while Elizabeth took her own stairs one at a time, walking as though she didn't know the ground would be there when she put her foot down.  
  
"I'm going out to meet my stag friend now, would you like to come," Lily asked, turning to James.  
  
James blinked at the unexpected invitation. "Will he come up to you if someone else is there?"  
  
"Only one way to find out," Lily replied. "And he might not come at all. If he doesn't show up, I'd rather be waiting in the cold with a friend."  
  
"Good enough, and we can talk more about why you're afraid to find your soul mate." James smiled as he led her through the portrait hole, "Better not retort just now, though, it is better to be stealthy." They didn't speak as they wandered through the castle; James was wishing he had brought his invisibility cloak. Lily was wishing she had gone out the window as planned.  
  
Once they exited the castle and were walking across the grounds to the forest, it was okay to talk. "Your soul mate is probably a stink bug," Lily shot back, almost ten minutes late.  
  
James laughed. "Sitting on that one for a while, were we?"  
  
"Yes, but that is entirely your fault. We should head over to the closest path into the forest; that is where I saw him last time." Lily pointed to the spot she was speaking of, and they turned to walk there.  
  
"So tell me again why you don't want to seek your soul mate?" James turned to look at her as they stood on the eaves of the forest.  
  
"Keep your eyes open for P.Mr. Coathangers," Lily instructed.  
  
"I can look and talk at the same time, so please answer my question." He stopped looking at her, and cast his eyes into the dark eaves of the trees.  
  
"Because Amos knows it isn't him, and while we were talking, I realized that too."  
  
"So if it isn't Amos, you don't want to know?" James laughed lightly. "I thought you were a touch braver than that."  
  
"You don't get it, do you? I wouldn't break up with Amos no matter who I saw, because I love Amos. That said, it doesn't matter who I see." Lily smiled a little at herself, knowing she was oversimplifying things.  
  
"So you wouldn't revise your theory with new information? You would still go off and marry Amos straight out of Hogwarts. While he works his way up at the Ministry you'll stay home with the kids to make huge world-changing discoveries and write text books for Hogwarts." James smiled through the darkness at her. "You'll be happy, of course, but will you be the happiest you could be?"  
  
"Why don't you tell me what the happiest I could be would be?" Lily grinned back then turned to face the forest once more.  
  
"Lily what will you name your children?"  
  
"Cedric after Amos's father and Violet following the floral tradition of my family," Lily stated quickly.  
  
"Shouldn't you at least be married, let alone pregnant before you decide on your children's names? Does it make you happy to know that Amos will never surprise you with anything? He will be spontaneous with flowers and nights out, but they will never really catch you off guard. I know you don't like that, you've told me so. Shouldn't you at least know who your soul mate is, before you decide to marry someone else?"  
  
"Amos is a down to earth guy. I like that, and I'm wiling to sacrifice spontaneity for an eighteen year old that is willing to be completely honest with me."  
  
"Most teenagers grow into honesty and out of spontaneity."  
  
"So you think I should marry Sirius?" Lily laughed loudly. "I wonder where Prongs is."  
  
"I'm right next to you."  
  
"No the other, um, I mean Mr. Antlers."  
  
"You named him after me, how sweet. What, did you think I would mind?"  
  
"No, I thought you would tease me like you are about to. After all, I did name my 'soul mate' animal after you."  
  
"I won't tease you. I really am flattered. I don't think your stag friend is coming, however, we should head back to the castle."  
  
"Alright," Lily said, nodding deftly. They crossed the grounds with a comfortable silence between them, until they got to the castle door.  
  
"It's locked," James exclaimed.  
  
"Well use the Alohomora charm already," Lily said, crossing her arms.  
  
"It won't work, the doors in and out of the castle are all locked magically, they're so rarely locked that Sirius and I haven't bothered to find their keys."  
  
"Then let's go to the broom shed and fly up to the dormitory windows. Someone will wake up and let us in, even if I didn't leave one open tonight."  
  
"Here, how about I go, and you meet me at the bottom of Gryffindor Tower? That way, if you get caught out, you can say you were chasing me, and only I'll get in trouble."  
  
"That's really nice of you, James," Lily said, giving him a piercing look.  
  
"No tricks, I promise. I just don't want any of the professors to die of shock when they found out you broke a school rule." James gave her a cocky grin and dashed off to the broom shed.  
  
A few seconds after she lost sight of James, Lily saw Prongs step out of the forest and look at her. She called his name, and tried to walk toward him, but as soon as she took a step, he shied and sprang away into the woods. Minutes later, James came soaring back on his Silver Arrow.  
  
"Climb on board," he said. The recently full moon cast surreal shadows about him, making him look mysterious and strange.  
  
"I saw Prongs. I think you were right, I don't think he wants me to meet him with other people around." Lily stated, getting on the broom behind James and holding on to the boy's waist.  
  
"Maybe he is jealous of your time alone together," James laughed, kicking off from the ground.  
  
"Or maybe he is a wild animal, not given over to trusting humans. Whatever the reason, I think I'll come alone from now on." Lily was sure James jolted the broom on purpose, so she squeezed him a little tighter than may have been absolutely necessary.  
  
"Erg, I like to breathe, Lily, let up." Lily did, and they reached the window of James's dormitory. He knocked lightly and whispered, "Sirius, get up and open the window."  
  
"I'm sleeping James," came the muffled reply.  
  
"Sirius get up and open the window," Lily said loudly.  
  
"Lils, what are you doing in the boys dorm? Huh?" Sirius sat up and looked around the room. Finally, his eyes landed on the window and he laughed. James and Lily were hovering just outside, looking cold and annoyed.  
  
"Come on in, then," he said, opening the window. They ducked and swooped inside the warm room. James held the broom steady while Lily dismounted, then he landed and put it away. "Was James the one you were snogging instead of Amos on Saturday?"  
  
"I told you about the stag, so no. James wanted to come with me to see him, but he scared him away." Lily answered abruptly. "Thank you for letting us in, Sirius, but it is late and I have class in the morning. I will talk to both of you tomorrow."  
  
"Bye Lily," James called softly as she shut the door carefully.  
  
"So, you wanted to see Prongs," Sirius asked with a deep chuckle in his voice.  
  
"Shut up, Padfoot. Like Lily said, its late, I'm tired." James grumpily tore of his clothes and started putting on his pajamas.  
  
"You should just tell her you love her and let her deal with it," Sirius suggested as his friend flopped into his bed. "She'll either dump Amos for you, or she'll tell you she's sorry. It isn't life and death, just Lily."  
  
"Sirius, you just contradicted yourself," James said softly, rolling over and closing his eyes. Chalking his friend's behavior up to general teenage angst and stupidity, he got back into his own bed to go back to sleep. 


	4. Being Single Is An Option

DISCLAIMER: If you recognize it, it probably belongs to JK Rowling, and definitly doesn't belong to me.  
  
Lily dropped the glowing silver blossom into the boiling golden liquid dramatically. "Let the moon and the sun come together," she intoned. "Let the past and future meet to show me what is meant to be." Using her wand, she pushed the floating flower to the bottom of her cauldron.  
  
Maybe the cloying vapors had finally affected her, or maybe the jolt of electricity that shot through her wand was what did it. The visions came rushing at her. She was laughing with Amos, Sirius and James. She was dancing jokingly with Amos as James and Remus crooned an old torch song from the top of the Gryffindor table in the middle of lunch. She was arguing with James about something silly. She was kissing James, but she knew she had never kissed James. She was feeding the stag a carrot. James surreptitiously placed his hand on hers in the middle of transfiguration. She was dancing with James at a ball. James was staring deeply into her eyes, but he was kneeling on the floor for some reason. She was bouncing a baby with James's messy hair and her green eyes.  
  
Lily pulled her wand out of the cauldron as though it had stung her. The spell was meant to show one or two visions of your true love, not a montage sequence. James was the person she was meant to be with. Did everyone else know that? Amos suspected. Maybe that was the reason James pushed her so hard to try this spell. What was the vision of the stag doing there? Why were Amos, Sirius and Remus in some of the visions? Lily wondered if she should talk to Professor Metoki about her visions, even if it did mean risking a rebuke for performing a high level divination without the consent of a professor. There was no way James could be her soul mate. She didn't even like James anymore. Well, she liked him, the same way she liked Remus or Sirius. They were pals, occasionally jerks, but always there when you needed them. She couldn't actually kiss any of them, though. Not the way she kissed James in her vision. Not the way she kissed Amos in real life. She certainly couldn't do anything with him that would result in a baby. It would be practically incest!  
  
"Hey Lily," Elizabeth bounced into the bathroom. "Are you ready for breakfast?" Lily was practically in tears. "Oh, my god, are you okay?"  
  
Moaning Myrtle was laughing. "The pretty girl's potion apparently didn't proceed as planned," She called from the sink she was sitting in.  
  
"What's it to you, Myrtle," Elizabeth shot back. "What happened, Lily?"  
  
"Do me a favor," Lily asked anxiously.  
  
"Sure," Elizabeth replied, prepared to do almost anything.  
  
"You didn't find me here today. Whatever you think I was doing, keep it to yourself. Don't even speculate. I'm sick today, I don't want any visitors. Tell my professors anything you like. Keep this to yourself too, but I especially don't want to see Amos or any of the Marauders. I'll be fine, and I'll see you all tomorrow, but I'm going back to the dormitory now, okay? Okay. Well, I need to clean out my cauldron first." Lily was babbling, but it was enough for Elizabeth to catch the drift. Something had seriously upset her, and she needed time to think. That was fine, Elizabeth would steal it for her. It wouldn't even be that difficult.  
  
"Lily, honey, did you forget, it's Saturday morning. It is about ten o'clock, you weren't in your bed when I woke up, and I've been scouring the castle for you since then. I remembered you telling me this was the perfect place to work on potions in secret, so here I came." Elizabeth smiled. "Go on back to the dorm, I'm sure you can figure out how to get there without anyone seeing you. I'll bring you up some breakfast and make sure no one bothers you."  
  
"Thanks, Beth," Lily smiled. "I don't deserve you." Then Lily started to cry again. "I don't deserve anyone," she mumbled.  
  
"If you aren't in the room because you decided to go to the Hospital Wing, I'll understand." Elizabeth said softly, leaving the room.  
  
"I don't love James," Lily said to herself, not forcibly, just factually. "I know this. I gave up on him a long time ago. I am in love with Amos, and I am cleaning up my cauldron." With that said, she cleaned her cauldron and managed to navigate the halls to the Fat Lady without running into anyone she knew.  
  
Muttering a prayer under her breath and the password aloud, she entered her common room. Luckily, none of her friends were lounging in their usual places. She kept her head down and made her determined way to the girls' dormitory. Five steps up, she heard her name being called.  
  
"Lily, what's up?" James was hopping over stuff to get to her quickly.  
  
"I don't feel very well, James, I'm going back to bed."  
  
Now that James was closer, he could tell Lily was sick. She looked terrible. "Alright, I guess you're not going to Hogsmead this morning, then. I hope you feel better in time for the Halloween feast tonight. After all the trouble we put into helping plan it, it would be a shame if you missed it."  
  
"Right," Lily whispered to herself, "It is Halloween. Shit. What time is it?"  
  
"Ten-fifteen," James answered, looking at his watch.  
  
"Do me a favor, Amos will be at the portrait hole in fifteen minutes to pick me up. Tell him I'm really sorry, but I feel awful and can't make it today. No, wait, not you. Get anyone else to tell him, please?"  
  
"Whatever you say," James said, noticing how close Lily was to freaking out. "I'll come up later to keep you company."  
  
"Oh, God, no, don't do that! Go to Hogsmead, have fun, I'll be fine. Blow up a toilet or steal Snapes underwear or something." Lily turned suddenly, knowing the longer she spoke with James the closer she would come to breaking down. She practically sprinted up the stairs. Luckily, James was pretty certain she was going to throw up, and as worried as he was, Lily had made it abundantly clear that she didn't want to see him just then.  
  
James asked Remus to tell Amos that Lily was ill. Remus was a trump and didn't even ask James why he couldn't. Remus simply went out to wait on the other side of the Fat Lady. A few minutes later, he came back in and said that he had notified Amos and there was concern, but no hard feelings. James nodded to acknowledge this and continued to stare at the stairway to the girl's dormitory.  
  
When Elizabeth came in with a tray of food, James ran up to her, startling his friend into almost dropping everything. "I don't think she'll be able to eat any of that," James said, "but let me take it up with you. I feel really bad for not following her when she went to throw up, but she'd just said 'Good God, no' when I offered to keep her company."  
  
"You spoke to her," Elizabeth asked. "Shit, that was one of my jobs, to keep the boys away from her. She told me she can't deal with the Marauders right now. I can manage to take the tray up by myself."  
  
"Okay then, I guess, but tell her that she should go to the Hospital Wing. She really should be at the Halloween feast. Oh and tell her that I got Remus to talk to Amos, who hopes she feels better later." James tried to think of anything else that he could say that would be remotely helpful, or maybe make Elizabeth reconsider letting him come up, but he couldn't.  
  
"Will do," Elizabeth said. "Now would you mind moving out of the way?" Once James leapt aside, Elizabeth swaggered across the common room and up the stairs to see Lily.  
  
"You okay, honey?" she inquired, noting the closely drawn curtains around Lily's bed.  
  
"I'm afraid so," came the croaked reply. "I'm not sick in any event."  
  
"Do you want to tell me what is wrong?"  
  
"No. And don't start to press me either, please, I just absolutely do not want to talk about it."  
  
"Okay then. Amos sends get well wishes, as does James who added that you deserve to be at the Halloween feast."  
  
"I don't deserve anything," Lily whispered. "So you were the one who talked with Amos?"  
  
"Nope, apparently Remus did. I'm sure he sends get well greetings, too, James probably forgot to mention it, I was a little short with him, but your tray was heavy. I even managed to get you a piece of pie out here if you want it. I was going to try for ice cream, but it was quicker to just go to the Great Hall. I've forgotten where the picture of fruit that you're supposed to tickle is. We'll have to get James to show us again."  
  
"That's okay, you go," Lily said, obviously not listening to her friend. "I think I'll take a nap."  
  
"Alright, Lily, but your pie will get cold if you leave it sitting there for too long."  
  
"Pie," Lily asked, her voice almost perking up.  
  
"Yes, darling, I brought you a piece of apple pie. I hope you like it." Elizabeth sighed and left the room, hoping that Lily would feel well enough to get out of bed and eat something. As it turned out, Lily was adverse to people, not moving, at the moment. As soon as the door clicked shut, she sprang up and tore voraciously at the food, gulping pumpkin juice in between bites of the turkey sandwich. The pie was absolutely delicious.  
  
Once she finished eating, she realized that she was in no mood to study or read or sit around and mope. She needed someone intelligent to talk to, but she couldn't face any of her friends right now, or anyone who knew Amos, or anyone who might tell him anything. This left her pretty firmly out of options, except Hagrid; Lily realized she hadn't gone to visit Hagrid yet this year, and he would be the perfect person to talk to.  
  
Lily was glad she stored her broom in her room. If it meant facing the Gryffindor Common Room again, Lily wasn't sure she would have left, no matter how anxious she got. She flew all of the way to Hagrid's hut, where she propped her broom against the wall and knocked politely.  
  
"'Ello there, Lily, what can I do yer for?" Hagrid beamed down at her.  
  
"I was wondering if you had time to visit. James was the one who talked to you about the giant pumpkins, and I never got a chance to thank you for them. They are magnificent. I mean really beautiful. Happy Halloween, by the way."  
  
"'Appy 'Alloween yerself," Hagrid said with a smile. "Would yer like a cuppa? I just put the kettle on."  
  
"That would be splendid, Hagrid," Lily said with a smile.  
  
"Now, why don' yer tell me wha' I really owe this visit to," Hagrid asked. "If yeh'd come any other day, I might not 'ave asked, but it's 'alloween, why aren't ye' i' the village wi' yer boyfriend, Amos."  
  
Lily lost her nerve, and couldn't bear to talk about Amos, so she made up a subject. "Actually, I did have something to ask you. I know you go into the forest a lot as gamekeeper, and I was wondering if there are a lot of stags in there. If you can keep a secret, I saw one on the grounds the other night while I was trying to catch the Marauders playing a prank. It seemed really tame, and came right up to me, so I went back the next night and fed it an apple. I was wondering if it was a pet from the village that escaped or if the stags in the forest were just like that."  
  
"Ah don' really know, Lily. There are stags I' th' forest, Ah can tell yer tha' much, but they've never come up ta me. There is one weird one, though, I don' know wha' ye'll think o' this, but sometimes, usually when th' moon is full, Ahv seen this great big stag runnin' or wrestlin' with two wolves. Ah only ever see them from afa', so Ahm never really sure o' wha' Ah saw."  
  
"That's interesting, another data-point about my mysterious stag. I'm pretty sure they're the same animal, after all, how many abnormal stags can there be in one forest?" Lily smiled. She discussed her Care of Magical Creatures class with Hagrid for a while, he was always a good source for reference when she wanted a point of view a little different from what Professor Kettleburn taught. Then she excused herself, saying she'd see him at the Halloween Feast if he decided to come.  
  
Lily still didn't feel like going back to her room, but there really wasn't anywhere she could go and not run into people, so she decided to fly through the Forbidden Forest to clear her head. She would have done laps around the Quidditch Pitch, but knowing her friends, at least one person she knew would be there practicing. Lily wouldn't be surprised if the Gryffindor team had a practice scheduled, considering the way James worked his team. So she zoomed in, just under the canopy, dodging around tree trunks at high velocities. Then she slowed, and just flew through the forest, which didn't look nearly as ominous in the day light, although little enough daylight reached the forest floor. There was something comforting about being able to tilt up and be out of the forest within seconds any time she wanted, and there was no fear in her heart.  
  
"Christ James, would you stop staring at the stairs," Remus nearly shouted. When Sirius and Elizabeth looked at him in surprise, he lowered his head in embarrassment. "Sorry," he said. "But James, Lily is probably asleep. She is not going to come down the stairs at any moment, and she doesn't want to see you, so there is nothing you can do. Why don't you play chess with me, or we could go to Hogsmead? It isn't too late."  
  
"Nah, I'm groovy," James said, not listening to his friend at all.  
  
Sirius noticed what Remus was talking about, then, and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Hey," he said, getting James to turn and face him. "Why don't you go for a run? It will only take you half an hour, so you should be back before she wakes up. I know it will calm you down and give you time to think."  
  
"Alright," James said. He got up and left the common room without a word.  
  
"I'm almost as worried about him as I am about Lily," Elizabeth said softly.  
  
"He'll be fine the second she is, love."  
  
"Do you reckon he's in love with her," Elizabeth asked.  
  
"For quite a while now," Sirius answered. "He told me himself, to his credit. It would be more to his credit if he would tell Lily, but that is beside the point."  
  
Lily saw Prongs galloping through the trees ahead of her. "Prongs," she called, speeding up. To her surprise, the animal stopped immediately and looked at her. She landed a few feet away from him.  
  
Prongs stamped his foreleg and tossed his head in what was obviously a gesture of anger, although Lily didn't understand what he was angry about.  
  
"Hey, boy," she said soothingly. "It's okay, it's just Lily." She let her broom fall and walked slowly toward him, her hands raised and empty. "You know me, right? We're friends, remember? That's it. Good boy." Slowly she stretched a hand out to touch his neck, which he allowed. She pet him gently, and he allowed it for a little while.  
  
Prongs took a few steps away from Lily and looked at her with his big, brown eyes. Lily guessed she was meant to follow, so she said "Up" to call her broom to her hand and followed him. They walked together, side by side, Lily carrying her broom, and occasionally stroking Prongs' back.  
  
"I wonder if I could talk to you about something, Prongs," she asked. "Although I have no idea where you are taking me, I guess that doesn't matter. I have a problem Prongs, and it has to do entirely with your namesake." Prongs didn't object to this line of discussion, which Lily felt was invitation enough to continue. "You see, my problem is that I am not in love with James Potter." Prongs stopped walking very suddenly.  
  
"What is wrong, Prongs," Lily asked, concerned. "Do you smell a predator?" Prongs started walking again as though nothing was wrong, so Lily continued. "As I was saying, I finally did that spell you helped me find components for, and I saw the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. Don't ask me why I saw you instead of him when I first looked into the mirror, I still don't understand that. I'm really still very confused about you, Prongs, but that pales next to my current dilemma."  
  
"I've found out that James Potter is my perfect match. Now, I've no idea how he feels about me, I've always just assumed neither of us wanted to be more than friends. Now I wonder, though, because he was really rather pushy about me doing the second soul mate spell. Well, not really pushy, because he knows that's the least effective way to get me to do something. I'm not making any sense. I'm sorry for babbling. The problem is I really think I'm in love with Amos Diggory. He is my boyfriend. If you promise not to tell, he's the only real boyfriend I've ever had. Back in fourth and fifth year I 'dated', but those 'relationships' were maxed out by the second week. Amos and I make sense. We have loads of shared interests; even Potter admits that our life would be perfect together. He tells me he loves me, and I know he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  
  
"I promised Amos I wouldn't do the soul mate spell because he was afraid I would see James. I went against that promise, and his worst fear was confirmed. James is the man I'm supposed to be with. I couldn't dump Amos with that. That would be the worst possible thing I could do to him, baring use the Crutiacus Curse or something equally illegal. He is so insecure already, I could never dump him. I don't think I could even break up with him. I think I love him. No, I know I love him." Lily ran her hand over Prongs' back gently. "Maybe I'm not in love with him," she whispered. "Oh god, what if I don't love him." Prongs stopped to rub his head against her shoulder and nuzzle her cheek.  
  
"Thanks Prongs," Lily said softly. "I'm just incredibly confused right now. I can't talk to any of my friends. They are all either too close to James or friends with Amos. They all have their own opinions, you know, and I need to figure out my position. If I'm not in love with Amos, then I've never been in love and I don't know what it's like. How are you supposed to know love when you feel it," she asked as they continued walking. "I mean, what I feel when Amos and I are together is great, I feel warm and happy and safe, but what if there is something even better that I could be feeling with James, only I don't know about it because I've never been with James. Am I just with Amos because I don't know what the alternative is?"  
  
They entered a pine grove, down right peaceful for the forbidden forest. Sunlight lanced down at them and there was plenty of open space to run. "Beautiful," Lily exclaimed. "Is this your home, Prongs," she asked, sure that it was. Prongs led her to a bed of soft brown needles that he lay down on. She sat next to him and stroked his fur.  
  
"I'm not sure if I wish I knew how James felt or not. I mean, if I knew James had no interest in me at all, I could just stay with Amos and be happy. If I knew that he liked me or had a crush on me, though, I don't know what I would do. I mean, I know I don't love James Potter. That is the one thing about this whole mess that I am absolutely sure of." Lily sighed and leaned against Prongs' back.  
  
She sat up suddenly. "Actually, that answers one question fairly clearly. I'm not in love with Amos. I mean, if you're wondering whether or not you're in love, you probably aren't. Does that make sense? I don't care if it makes sense. I'm not in love with Amos Diggory or James Potter. That said, I don't think I want to date either of them right now. I've been dating Amos for so long, I'd forgotten that just being single was an option," Lily laughed at herself.  
  
"Thanks, Prongs, you're the best listener I know." Lily didn't laugh when she said that, and she brushed another kiss on the stag's cheek. She then got up and got on her broom, making the stag get up. "I have to go sneak back into Gryffindor Tower before anyone notices I'm gone, boy. Maybe I'll come find you after the Halloween Feast. If not, I'll come out tomorrow night, okay?" With that, Lily zoomed above the trees and back through the open window of the tower. She put away her broom carefully and closed the window. Her tray had already been taken away by some kind house elf, so she had nothing to do but go downstairs and face her friends. First, however, she brushed her hair so it wouldn't look like she'd been flying.  
  
***  
  
Sirius had apparently been right to suggest James go for a run. He returned to the common room looking almost cheerful, far better than his friends had hoped. Actually, when Sirius sent him out, he hadn't expected to accomplish anything more than having James out of his hair for half of an hour. James said hi to everyone, and sat back in a chair, nominally playing chess with Remus, but he had a half smile on his face, and he checked the girls stairwell every thirty seconds or so.  
  
Lily descended that staircase much sooner than anyone would have guessed she would, only ten minutes or so after James returned. James, apparently, had been right to watch for her, because he was the first one to see her. He did not bound over to her like Elizabeth guessed he would have, but simply walked up to her and asked her how she was feeling.  
  
"Much better, thank you," she replied with a polite smile, "I think I just needed some time to myself to rest."  
  
"I'm glad that's all," James said with a grin, as Elizabeth ran over to Lily and gave her a bear hug, with Sirius attacking her from the other side. "Apparently, everyone was worried about you."  
  
Lily looked a little uncomfortable about this, but she smiled broadly at her friends. "Well, nothing to worry about," she said easily. "Glad I don't make it more of a habit to sleep in on Saturdays if this is what it would be met with," she laughed.  
  
"Its just after noon, shall we go to the Great Hall for lunch," Peter suggested, coming down from the boy's dormitory where he had been studying. No one had told him Lily was sick, so he made no comments on her recovery.  
  
Amos had apparently gone to Hogsmead with his Hufflepuff friends, because the small group of Lily's friends who entered the Great Hall were the only students over third year beside for one or two on duty prefects. Lily was incredibly grateful for that because she knew it wouldn't be fair to act like a couple with him while they were in a group when she was planning on breaking up with him. So she ate lunch happily with her friends, who remarked with giggles that she seemed to be replacing everything she'd thrown up.  
  
After lunch, Lily went to the library with Elizabeth to do homework and the Marauders went back up to their room to discuss their big Halloween plan. Instead, as soon as the door was closed, James spilled everything Lily had told him when he met her.  
  
"So what are you going to do," Sirius asked.  
  
"Do," James asked, honestly surprised. "I don't need to do anything. She's probably going to break up with Amos, then she's bound to eventually fall in love with me. We're perfectly suited to each other, remember, so as long as she continues to consistently see my charming self, she'll fall for me."  
  
"Merlin, you're such a Hamlin," Peter exclaimed.  
  
"A what, Wormtail," James inquired curiously.  
  
"He means Hamlet," Remus said with a smile, "and as it was his parents who took us to the play in the first place, he should know that. It means indecisive. It's a character from a Shakespearean play."  
  
"Um, I think I take offense at that, you prat of a rat."  
  
"Maybe you should, but it's true," Peter stated staunchly. "You are just going to sit back and let your uncle rule your fiefdom."  
  
"Jesus, Pete, did you sleep through that entire play," Remus asked with a laugh. "He does have a point, though, James. You can't count on the fact that Lily will just fall for you while you're acting as friends. You need to make a little effort. Remember, the odds that you're going to be thrown together after we graduate are slim, so you really only have about seven months. Sure you'll see her after that, but not anywhere near the amount she sees you at Hogwarts, and if you can't get her to fall in love with you before then, you may very well lose her forever."  
  
"Okay, okay, point grasped," James laughed. "What would you have me do, though, I can't turn on the charm the second she dumps Diggory. Do you know what kind of a skeezy prat that would make me look like?"  
  
"The kind of prat that goes after vulnerable girls," Sirius said, banging an imaginary buzzer like he was on a muggle game show. "Can we talk about the plan now?"  
  
"I still can't believe we got three of them," James laughed.  
  
"I'm not sure three is enough," Peter said with a frown. "I mean, they do get weaker around that many people. I wonder if anyone will get a good scare."  
  
"Well, we don't really want to ruin the Halloween feast for anyone, just scare a few folks. Dumbledore will probably figure out what they are in a few seconds." Remus smiled. "He probably already knows the plan. We weren't exactly subtle about stealing Professor McGonagal's chest."  
  
"We won't know until we have a go, now will we," asked Sirius. 


	5. Terror and a Secret

DISCLAIMER: most of the words that start with X, Z, F, and E are owned by me, but not all of them. A lot of the nouns are directly from JK Rowling's lovely book series, especially Hogwarts, Magic, and the main characters of this yarn. The seventies stuff is meshed from the stories my parents tell me, Dazed and Confused, and other media portrayals.  
  
Amos had taken their breakup fairly well, maybe because Lily was in tears as she spoke with him. She lied about doing the soul mate spell, but told the truth about not loving him. He asked her if she loved Potter, and was satisfied when she said no. It may have helped that a few minutes later they were frantically called back into the Halloween Feast to help deal with three bogarts that were terrifying most of the first, second and third years. The Marauders were given two weeks of detention and two hundred points were taken from Gryffindor by an enraged Professor McGonagall, while Professor Dumbledore thanked them for reminding everyone what they were afraid of on a "Holliday that celebrates overcoming one's fears".  
  
She hadn't spoken to Amos in a week, since that day. Lily had to see him at the prefect meeting in half an hour and she had no idea how to deal with him.  
  
She'd been depressed since they had broken up. If he hadn't been so unaffected, she could easily have remembered that she didn't love him, but when it appeared that he didn't love her, that he had been lying, it was difficult to remember that breaking up had been her decision. Of course the only one she spoke of this to was Prongs; Elizabeth was busy trying to figure out if Sirius actually liked her, or wanted someone to kiss. Several times, the girl made offers to talk with Lily about her breakup, even their other dorm-mates were willing to lend a sympathetic ear, but Lily just never seemed ready to talk about it. Consequently, everyone thought she was fine, and right now, she really needed a hug.  
  
"You need to hop out of the doldrums, baby," James said, sitting down next to her. "A week is a sufficient mourning period, and you need to face him today."  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about, James," Lily said, looking at him uncertainly. He was announcing her private business to anyone in the common room who was listening.  
  
"You're bumming, I was wondering what to do about it, then I realized that you gave me a shopping list on Halloween, whether or not you meant to." James grinned at her.  
  
"Presents," she asked with a grin on her face. "Cosmic! You know, I think you might be right, I must be depressed." Her tone was sarcastic, but her eyes never left his. She didn't want to put on a performance for the entire room, but she was a little touched that he'd noticed.  
  
"Yep," he smiled. "First, you told me to go to Hogsmead, so I got you a Chocolate Frog." He handed her a box of Chocolate Frogs. "Then, you told me to blow up a toilet." He took a toilet seat out of his bag and handed it to her, causing her to burst into laughter. "Then you told me to steal Severus Snape's underwear. I can't imagine what you would like it for, but here it is!" He handed her the underwear, carefully sealed into a zip lock bag. "His floor is so cluttered we couldn't be sure which boxers were his, so Sirius and I had to take the ones he was wearing to be sure they were his and not just some other Slytherine's."  
  
"I refuse to ask how you managed to do that," Lily choked out while laughing. Her laughter turned out to be contagious, and the small group that had gathered around them began laughing as well. James decided he didn't need an invitation to tell his story, and he sent everybody into fits describing how Sirius had helped him get the underwear Snape was wearing without Snape noticing.  
  
"Oh no," Lily exclaimed, suddenly sitting up, with a happy sigh that soon left her voice. "We're five minutes late for the prefect meeting James! It's a good thing I finished the agendas! Elizabeth, would you take my toilet seat and boxers up to our dorm? Please don't put them on my bed, though." James and Lily rushed out of the common room together, stopping only at the door to the classroom they were using, to compose themselves for entry.  
  
"Thanks, James," Lily said softly, as she pushed the door open. Lily ran the meeting with James, and dealt with Amos in a perfectly friendly, if slightly reserved manner. Amos had exactly the same attitude toward her, and Lily knew then that everything would be okay between them, especially when he saw that she wasn't, and wouldn't be dating James Potter.  
  
Toward the end of the meeting, Professor Dumbledore came in, to make a special announcement that he had requested time for on the agenda. "Well, I hope everyone in this meeting can keep a secret," he began, and a hush fell over the prefects immediately.  
  
"This year, just after the Christmas Holidays, we will be having a Yule Ball. The teachers and I have decided that the student body will need something to focus on with the rise of Voldemort causing so much pain for so many individuals. I am afraid that by the end of those holidays we will very much need something to lift our spirits. So, I would like you to plan an extra special Ball, but you mustn't tell a single student about it until I announce it, otherwise the surprise will be ruined. The best idea would be to put it completely out of your mind if you are not asked by the head boy or girl to help with something. I have a pensive for just such occasions, if anyone would like to use it." When no one volunteered to do so, the headmaster took his leave of the meeting.  
  
"Right," James said, "if you get a really good idea, feel free to come to Lily at any time, or me at any reasonable time." Lily smacked James with her agenda, and she noticed Amos' eyes narrow at them.  
  
"I'm especially interested in any ideas for bands," Lily announced. "Dumbledore has given us a rather large budget to work this dance, so we can have pretty much anyone you'd like, although a muggle group would be rather difficult. James already requested we get The Clash. Dumbledore thought, however, that it would be rather difficult to pay them if we had to obliviate them, they would wonder where the money came from, and in short, no good would come of it. Well, I should say, no good other than having the Clash play at our dance." That earned Lily a few laughs from everyone.  
  
A few prefects suggested different wizarding bands and Lily promised that she would look into all of them. They then discussed different possibilities for decorations, and food. After another half an hour of brainstorming, they adjourned the meeting.  
  
"That went well," James said as they walked back to the common room together.  
  
"Yeah," Lily replied with a smile. "Thanks for helping me with my nerves before hand, otherwise it probably wouldn't have gone nearly as well."  
  
"Don't mention it," James said, a faint, but unnoticed, pink tingeing his cheeks. "Want to place bets on whether or not Sirius will ask Elizabeth out by the time the dance is announced?"  
  
"Which way would you be betting," Lily asked with a glance at him.  
  
"Probably for, he seems rather interested in her, although she might have dumped him by that point. He says she's a lot more distant than most of the girls he's dated." James smiled, knowing how much trouble he'd be in with Sirius if his best friend found out how much he was telling Lily.  
  
"I'm sure half of that is Beth being terrified that Sirius is going to dump her at any minute, he is a Marauder after all. The other half is just Elizabeth, though. She doesn't really put her heart on the line much, she's afraid to lose people." Lily frowned, knowing that Elizabeth would immediately strangle her for saying something so personal, could she hear it.  
  
"I know what that's like," James whispered. When he saw Lily looking curiously at him, he realized he must have said that aloud, so he immediately changed the subject. "Do you have a date for the dance, yet?"  
  
Lily burst into laughter. "James, including the two of us, there are twenty four students who know about the ball, and they found out half an hour ago! So, no, nobody has asked me yet!"  
  
"Right," James said, looking a little embarrassed.  
  
"By the way, James," Lily looked seriously at him, "Those twenty four students had better be the only ones who know about the ball. I know you tell your friends *everything*, but it really will keep them from having as much fun in the long run. Planning a surprise is fun, as is knowing something before everyone else, and I know the four of you get a kick out of that, but wait a little while, or they'll die of anticipation."  
  
"Chill," James said laughing. "I'm going to wait until a week before Dumbledore announces it to the whole school to tell them. They'll get the best of both worlds."  
  
"Good," Lily said with one of her dazzling smiles, "Because I'm already dying of anticipation, and I don't want anyone else to suffer the same fate." They laughed and entered the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"Well," Lily said, "I'll take my leave of you, then. I have to decide which wall to hang my trophies on!" James laughed as she ran up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, earning him an elbow jab from Sirius.  
  
"I told you active pursuit was a good idea, did you ask her out," the boy whispered loudly.  
  
"Whatever are you talking about, Sirius Black; I am simply acting as any friend would, especially since she is also the head girl. I couldn't have my co-star moping about, now could I?" James grinned at his partner in crime. "And the underwear thing was just a great idea anyway! I wish we could have seen his face when he realized he no longer had any on!" The two boys started laughing so hard they fell into chairs and didn't get up.  
  
Lily used her wand to move the toilet seat to different walls until she found one she liked. She was debating whether to hang up Snapes underwear or return them to him publicly and ask why she'd had them sent to her, but she couldn't come to a decision.  
  
Elizabeth came into the dormitory, and Lily asked her opinion. Elizabeth smiled like Christmas had come early. "They really are Severus' underwear. You should return them to him."  
  
"Just what I was thinking," Lily said, with a malicious grin. Snape was polite enough to her in prefect meetings and when Professors were around, but he insulted her frequently, and she didn't like it one bit. Dinner would be interesting.  
  
Lily was a few minutes late to dinner, to make sure everyone was already there and seated. She walked defiantly to the Slytherines' table, ignoring the looks she got from Gryffindors and Slytherines alike. She walked slowly; so many people around the hall were already watching her as she tapped Severus' shoulder, politely.  
  
"I was wondering if I could have a word with you, Severus," she asked nicely.  
  
"Yes, Miss Evans," he returned almost as nicely.  
  
"Are you sure you want to talk here," she said almost nervously, causing most of the Slytherines to look up with a gaze of evil anticipation. Were they about to see the head mudblood get shot down?  
  
"Anything that you want to say can be said in front of my housemates, I'm sure," he answered evenly.  
  
"Well, Severus, as you know, I've recently broken up with my boyfriend, Amos," Lily noted said ex-boyfriend and many Hufflepuffs staring at her with unflattering disbelief.  
  
"I was aware," Snape returned, not quite coldly.  
  
"But," Lily continued, "I'm just not ready for another relationship yet. I'm really sorry. Maybe you want these back." She got out the underwear, causing pretty much the entire hall to go silent and look at the two prefects. "I got them by owl this morning. I'm flattered, but like I said, I've only recently broken up with someone, and you're just coming on too fast. I'm really very sorry." Feeling as though she had to say something complimentary to make up for embarrassing him so much, she added, "But your name is stitched very nicely in them, did your mother do that for you?" The entire hall burst into laughter. Lily had only hoped for the Slytherines' attention, she was gratified, but she didn't say anything, she just turned, blushed crimson, and walked back to the Gryffindor table.  
  
"Potter!" Snape shouted behind her, and she was surprised at how loud his voice sounded. Lily sat next to James, who was trying to give Snape a perfectly innocent look while laughing his head off.  
  
"I realized what you were doing as soon as you started talking to him and put the Sonarus charm on both of you," James whispered to her. Lily blushed even more profusely.  
  
"That's why my audience was so big," she replied with an attempt at a smile. "Oh, dear, I hope I didn't embarrass him too much, I was just hoping to get back at him a little in front of the Slytherines."  
  
"Don't worry, he deserves it," Sirius Black put in from across the table. "You can't count the number of times he's called you a mudblood during your time at Hogwarts, and he's a filthy dark mage! You were long overdue, Lily. I'm delighted that you've got a little of your own back!"  
  
"Thanks, Sirius," Lily smiled. "But even a prat like him doesn't deserve to be embarrassed in front of the *whole* school."  
  
"Don't worry, a few professors haven't shown up yet," James said with a grin.  
  
"Well that's okay then," Lily smiled back. Lily noticed Amos had started the Hufflepuff table into giving Lily a standing ovation. She blushed further and sank to where her nose was almost touching the table. The Marauders made it worse, by getting up and bowing, taking credit for the prank, and having the Gryffindor table applauding them as well.  
  
Professor Dumbledore stood, his eyes twinkling merrily, "Yes, another spectacular trick played on Mr. Snape. The usual detentions will be given to Sirius Black and James Potter unless they object or the other Marauders would like to take credit for assisting them." No one spoke, although several Gryffindors laughed. "Very well then, twenty points will be taken from Gryffindor, and I suggest an apology is due to Miss Evans as she did not appear to be aware that her conversation was being broadcast. I would also suggest an apology was owed to Mr. Snape; however I do not believe you would take that suggestion."  
  
"I'm sorry, James," Lily said when everyone had gone back to eating, "I didn't mean for either of you to get detention, I'll tell Dumbledore what really happened if you like."  
  
"Don't you dare," Sirius exclaimed. "I still have to get ten more detentions by the end of the year to beat the all time record for any Hogwarts student."  
  
"And Dumbledore would give us detention anyway, if you explained how you got the underwear. You still would probably get off, because you were just returning them to him," James said, while Sirius snorted back a giggle.  
  
"Thanks, guys," Lily laughed, shaking her head. Then she finally started on her dinner.  
  
Lily went to see Prongs that evening and she told him all about Snape's underwear and the Yule Ball. She also told him she wouldn't be coming to see him for a few days because the moon would be full and she didn't know whether or not there were wolves in the Forbidden Forest. She still didn't know whether Prongs actually understood anything she said, but she liked to talk with him. If nothing else, he was an open listener, he asked no questions and he passed no criticisms. She felt as though she could tell him anything.  
  
That night, Lily had a peculiar dream. She was alone in the darkness of the Forbidden Forest and the trees were pressing in on all sides, almost as though they were attacking her. A silver light appeared, parting the trees as it sped toward her, getting larger as it came until it was bigger than she was and it stopped in front of her. It was a stag, not just any stag, her stag, Prongs. Prongs stamped his hoof and the trees surrounding them disappeared. She was so happy, she kissed his nose, and he bashfully nuzzled her shoulder.  
  
When she woke the next morning to go to her Monday classes, she had no memory of the dream. The day was boringly average enough; she took scrupulous notes in her classes, answered every question correctly and preformed every spell admirably. She was Head Girl, after all. She advised Elizabeth to be a little more open to Sirius with her emotions and just tell her what she was afraid of when her friend started complaining. The high point of her day was when she transfigured her pineapple into a perfect replica of Professor McGonagall's desk lamp, but that was not the most exciting moment.  
  
Lily was halfway to the library, where she went every day after dinner, when she was surrounded by a tall group of Slytherine boys. They didn't say anything, and they all had their black hoods up, so she couldn't see their faces. They simply surrounded her and walked, exactly matching her speed when she tried to vary it. She felt threatened and nervous although they did not say anything. Lily tried to speak, but her mouth was dry and no words would come out.  
  
"Lily," a masculine voice called from behind her, and she stopped, causing the Slytherine directly behind her to bump into her.  
  
"Oh, sorry," she said, turning back to face him, but he quickly moved and followed the others onward. James was standing there, looking puzzled.  
  
"Hey, you didn't look too happy," he said. "Were those guys bothering you?" Lily threw her arms around him, not saying anything. "I take that to mean, 'Yes, James, they were.'" He smiled down at her and put his arms around her quivering form. She seemed so small at the moment, so vulnerable. "Hey, Lily, are you alright?" She still couldn't speak; she couldn't even look at him.  
  
"I'm taking you to the hospital wing unless you tell me not to," he said, his voice laced with concern. Lily couldn't respond, she just squeezed him tighter, rooting him to the spot. "It's okay, Lily," he said, petting her hair. "I really think we should go to the hospital wing, though. Something is very wrong with you." James started to walk, but it was awkward because Lily wouldn't let go of him, and she whimpered pathetically when he tried to let go of her. It took him a very long time to get her to Madame Pomfrey, especially because he had to lift her over the trick stairs, she wouldn't listen to him when he told her she had to step up. In fact, he got the impression that she could barely hear him speak.  
  
It took Madame Pomfrey almost five minutes to diagnose Lily after asking her and James nearly a hundred questions (Lily answered hers by whimpering). When she realized what had happened, the nurse stood up and looked appalled, exclaiming, "But that's very advanced dark magic!"  
  
"What is it," James asked nervously.  
  
"Terror," the nurse answered shortly. "I'll need the Headmaster to fix this, I certainly can't. I'll get him myself, Mr. Potter, you stay with Miss Evans. She needs you." James couldn't think of anything to do, so he held the terrified girl as tightly as he could.  
  
Professor Dumbledore strode quickly into the room ahead of Madame Pomfrey only a few minutes after she'd left. His eyes widened with concern when he saw the state of the two teenagers, and James looked up at him helplessly.  
  
"Lily Evans," he said softly, getting her to look up into his sparkling blue eyes. "Fear does not become you." She continued to shake, but she looked like she could understand what was being said now. "James," the Headmaster instructed, "I'd like you to speak, it doesn't matter what you say. Tell a joke; recite a transfiguration assignment or a recent prank on Mr. Snape. The only thing that matters is your voice, and Lily, I would like you to concentrate on his voice while I perform the spell. Think about how safe you feel with him. Nothing can hurt you in this place with the two of us here. Remember that."  
  
"Um," James began, feeling pressure to speak and finding he had nothing to say. "The Animagus transformation is very dangerous and complicated magic. There are four really terrible things that could happen when attempting it. The first is, obviously, to be unable to transform back into human once you've become an animal. The second is to only make it halfway into your animal form, so you'd be stuck for the rest of your life with antlers, fur, a bent spine or any sort of other deformity. The third is to splice yourself in half, meaning forever after that there would be two of you, an animal self and a human self, only there would only be one mind. It would be like constantly daydreaming, because while you were in class you would also be chasing mice around at home. You would never be able to fully concentrate on anything unless both halves were together and it was something your animal self cared about, too." As James spoke, Lily let his voice flow over her. She could feel his chest vibrating with some of the words and she could hear his heart beating. She knew he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. She also knew that the safest place in the world was wherever Albus Dumbledore happened to be, and he was standing right in front of her, wand flowing gracefully through the air. She had no reason to be afraid. She loosened her death-grip about James' stomach and felt every muscle in her body relax.  
  
Professor Dumbledore sat down and smiled. James certainly knew a lot about the things that could go wrong with an animagus transfiguration, he was still talking animatedly. "That is enough, James," the headmaster smiled, and James stopped talking and held his breath. "How do you feel, Lily?"  
  
"Mmm," Lily mumbled, "Just fine, Professor. How are you?" Then Lily squeaked and jerked away from James. "I'm sorry, that was incredibly rude of me," she said instantly. Dumbledore chuckled appreciatively.  
  
"You seem to be fine, so I see no problems with saying so. I am happy that the counter-curse worked, it is a rather tricky one." The professor then got a serious look on his face. "They used the Curse of Dreaderrol on you; it is a very powerful piece of dark magic. Do you know what it does?"  
  
"I should say so," Lily said with a small, sad smile. "But, yes, we covered it in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor. It causes a person to be completely terrified by everything and everyone until they die from either heart failure or lack of food and sleep. I was unaware that there was a counter-curse for it, although some have survived after being force-fed courage potions which they must take every six hours for the rest of their life."  
  
"Very good," the Headmaster said with a smile. "I'd expect no less from the Head Girl. The counter-spell is something I developed very recently, I have only successfully used it once before because it requires the cursed one to have something that they are not afraid of, in your case, James Potter." Dumbledore's eyes seemed to be laughing at her. "You must trust him very much for the curse not to cause you to fear him."  
  
"Well, um, that is to say," Lily stumbled over her words.  
  
"You don't need to explain anything to an old fool like me," The headmaster said with a smile. "We understand things well enough." Then he became serious again. "I would like to ask you if you recognized any of the people who surrounded you. I will not tolerate dark magic at Hogwarts, and whoever performed this spell will be expelled immediately, although I daresay they deserve to be in Azkaban."  
  
"I'm sorry, headmaster, they all had their hoods up, so I couldn't see their faces, although I'm positive one of them was wearing the green Slytherine tie. I'm also fairly sure that they were all boys."  
  
"What about you, James?"  
  
"Sorry headmaster, I was behind her and none of them ever turned to face me. Although I'd agree with Lily, they were all probably sixth or seventh year boys. I can't say anything for what house they were in, though."  
  
"Very well," the headmaster said. He was not smiling. "I'll take my leave of you, then. Miss Evans, if, in the next week or so, there is something you feel you cannot deal with, do not be ashamed of it, simply tell the professor. I will inform them of your circumstances. You may not be completely well for a while. I am sorry to say that things may be more difficult when you are not in the company of Mister Potter."  
  
"Thank you, Headmaster," Lily said. "And thank you for giving me back my mind."  
  
"It was no trouble, Miss Evans, I am only sorry that you ever lost it within my halls."  
  
Madame Pomfrey offered Lily the option of spending the night in the hospital wing, but she opted to go back to Gryffindor Tower. She was warned against attempting too much too fast and discharged. James carried her books for her, as though he was afraid she might break down at any moment, which, considering the circumstances, was not an unjustifiable fear. When they reached the common room, James sat with her and they did their homework in silence. Lily did not have to warn James against telling anyone or ask him to sit with her while she worked, she knew he would do both.  
  
When Lily finished working and thanked James for sitting with her, he paused, wanting to say something but unsure of how she would take it. "If you have a nightmare, or get scared of the dark, you can come to the boys' dorm and wake me up. We could sit up in the common room until you felt better."  
  
Lily smiled at him. "Thank you, James. I'm sure I'll be just fine, though. If I do have a relapse, believe me I won't hesitate to take you up on your offer. I'm in no way going to experience that fear voluntarily!"  
  
James laughed, and Lily went up to the girls' dorm. When Elizabeth (who had been sitting on Sirius' lap on the other side of the common room) followed her fifteen minutes later, or so, Sirius came over and nudged James with his elbow. "So, you and Lily, doing homework, talking, laughing, all alone together over here? Why didn't you come sit with Peter, Elizabeth and my charming self? You sly dog!"  
  
"Sirius," James said with a smile, "You're the dog, or did you forget? And I can't explain it to you, but believe me, there was a good reason for me to sit with Lily, and she didn't want to be distracted by you clowns, which I felt was justified."  
  
"Did I ever say love wasn't a good reason," Sirius exclaimed. "I apologize; I personally think it's the greatest reason on Earth!"  
  
"Whatever, Padfoot, moonrise is in ten minutes. I assume Remus has already gone out to the shack?"  
  
"You know it. Go get your cloak," he ordered.  
  
James moved to obey the command, muttering, "I hope Lily doesn't have any nightmares until the moon sets."  
  
Lily cuddled closely to her sheets and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, but it took her a while to fall asleep, especially because she could swear she heard howling, and she knew it was a full moon. She didn't want to bother James just yet, however, because she knew she would eventually have to deal with the darkness on her own. Eventually, she did fall asleep, and she dreamed.  
  
She was alone in the darkness of the Forbidden Forest and the trees were pressing in on all sides, almost as though they were attacking her. A silver light appeared, parting the trees as it sped toward her, getting larger as it came until it was bigger than she was and it stopped in front of her. It was a stag, not just any stag, her stag, Prongs. Prongs stamped his hoof and the trees surrounding them disappeared. She was so happy, she kissed his nose, and he bashfully nuzzled her shoulder. The silver light that surrounded Prongs shot up into the sky and became a full moon. There was a howl that came from within the forest, and although the frightening trees had given them meters of breathing room, Lily felt her blood run cold. Out of the trees stepped an enormous werewolf, snarling and salivating. It looked as though it would attack her at any moment, when Prongs stepped in front of her and slowly shook his head. The wolf closed its mouth and cocked its head to the side, looking like a tamed and intelligent dog. Prongs once again shook his head no, and the wolf sat down calmly. The silver moon set and disappeared from the sky, and the wolf slowly turned back into a man. The wolf slowly turned back into Remus. Lily looked at him in shock, then she walked over to him and gave him a hug.  
  
Lily woke with a start in the darkness. She was suddenly overcome by an intense fear. She took a deep breath and looked at her clock and discovered that it was three thirty three a.m., and that seemed to be the worst of omens to her terror-addled mind. She got up and went to the window. The moon had set and the grounds were incredibly dark. Without the stars it would have been as if she was staring into pure blackness, and the thought of that frightened her even more. After all, it had to be called dark magic for a reason. Suddenly, she remembered James' offer and crept quickly out of her room. She managed to fight her fear as she crossed the common room, but every step up the staircase to the boys' dormitory was like fighting a werewolf without a wand.  
  
When she carefully opened the door to the seventh year boys' room and saw James' peacefully sleeping form, all of her fear vanished, like shadow before flame. It now seemed silly to wake him, and she closed the door, discovering that the second she did that the terror came rushing back to her, so she quickly went through the doorway and shut it fast behind her. Lily had no desire to sleep on the incredibly messy floor, but she noticed that Remus' bed was empty, so she crawled in, hoping he was gone for the night and not just in the bathroom. As soon as her eyes were closed, however, she was afraid. 'This is ridiculous,' she thought, but she opened her eyes and looked at James. She could not sleep with her eyes open, but as soon as she closed them, she was too terrified to sleep.  
  
Lily hoped she would wake up before the boys did, and she got up and crept into bed next to James. Figuring she'd better do the thing properly, she cuddled up against him and closed her eyes. Moments later she was slumbering peacefully.  
  
Sirius was laughing loudly about something, but James was too tired to figure out what was so amusing. He pulled Lily closer and breathed her intoxicating scent, hearing her mumble something into his chest. He pursed his lips so they brushed ever-so-lightly against her hair before he allowed himself to fall back into unconsciousness. Then, something nagging caught in his mind. He ran over what he knew again. Lily was in his bed. He opened his eyes to peek and make sure. Yup, it was Lily, and she was snuggling against his chest, but he had no idea how she got there. He was going to close his eyes again when he realized that Sirius must have been laughing at him. He blinked and finally woke up. He saw Sirius, Peter and Frank all looking at him. Sirius must have gotten the other boys up, because they looked a little grumpy, if highly amused. Wait, James felt the need to go back to his first realization. Lily was in his bed. He lifted his arm, okay, good, he was wearing pajamas, and presumably she was, too.  
  
She must have been afraid.  
  
Luckily, when James moved his arm, he'd caused Lily to grow alert and make a similar set of realizations. Sirius was laughing. Sirius was awake and he had seen them. "Fuck," Lily muttered into James' chest.  
  
"Did you," Sirius asked, in between giggles, "I really am dying to know."  
  
"I hope you do," Lily said, sitting up. "You could have let me sleep a little longer." She knew the best way to deal with the situation was to simply ignore it and act like nothing had happened. Hopefully everyone else would cotton on.  
  
"You always wake up around seven-thirty," Sirius said, smiling. "Unless you and Jamsie here had a late night last night."  
  
"If what you're referring to had happened, Sirius," Lily said with a sweet smile, "I hope you would have heard some noise." That floored every boy in the room, even James. Lily was the Head Girl. She never, ever spoke like that. She stood up and swaggered out of the room, the boys watching her go before they all pestered James for an explanation. He just smiled.  
  
"I didn't know she was here until I woke up and heard Sirius laughing," he answered honestly. "I'll confess under Veritaserum if you don't believe me." The boys all looked very much like they disbelieved him, but as they didn't have any truth serum, they couldn't exactly hold him to his word.  
  
Luckily, all of Lily's classes were with James except divination. Through the entire day, he was never out of sight, but he didn't crowd her either. Even Sirius was forced to admit that although he'd found them in an incredibly compromising position, they didn't seem to be going out at all, even though they once again did their homework together in the common room. They would have worked in a group with their friends as they usually did, but they were also planning the Yule Ball, and their friends were not allowed to overhear their discussions of it. When Lily went up to her room, James stopped her for a moment.  
  
"You can wake me up if you are afraid, I won't be mad," he said, wondering if her fear had prevented her from waking him.  
  
"You looked really tired," Lily said, "I couldn't bear to wake you. Would you prefer it to the morning embarrassment?"  
  
"I wasn't that embarrassed, I woke up with a pretty girl in my bed. They were just jealous, but I'd think you would prefer it to the embarrassment, and I have no objections to avoiding a laughing Sirius." James gave her a broad smile.  
  
"Well, pick one," Lily said, returning the smile. "Do you want to be embarrassed or have your beauty sleep interrupted?"  
  
"It can be your choice," James said. "But remember that I honestly won't mind a bit if you wake me."  
  
"Thank you, James," she responded, hugging him. He could no longer resist saying it; he'd had it on the tip of his tongue for two days now.  
  
"I'm just flattered that your trust for me can overcome dark magic," he said, returning the hug. She laughed at him, but didn't really answer as she walked up the stairs. He was a little sad that she still wasn't ready to tell him he was her soul mate. He couldn't wait until the full moon ended so she would tell Prongs what she was really thinking, and he felt a little guilty about that. He felt as though he was, as Prongs, betraying her trust by passing all of her secrets on to James Potter.  
  
Lily had worked everything out within the course of the day, of course, and she was amazed that it had taken her seven years to figure it out. Of course, the Marauders were all masters of misdirection, and sometimes there had been months where they all went missing during the full moon. There were even full moons where Lily could distinctly remember Remus coming to class. Of course, his transformations probably hadn't been as bad those days. Lily could put three and three together, however, and the howls, the dream and the empty bed just made it too easy. She would have to tell him she knew the next time she saw him.  
  
Of course, knowing that there was a werewolf living in Gryffindor Tower did not make it easy for her to overcome her terror and fall asleep, but eventually she did sleep, and she had the same dream she'd had the night before, down to every drop of saliva that fell from the wolf's mouth.  
  
Again, Lily woke up and felt the fear close in around her. She looked at the clock, it was quarter to four a.m. She closed her eyes, and tried to go back to sleep, but the darkness was closing in around her and she was forced to leap out of bed. Once again, the moon had ducked beneath the horizon. She managed to be quiet as she exited her dorm and shut the door behind her, but she then ran down the stairs, through the common room, and up to the boys' room like a child fleeing a nightmare. Once she had the door to the boys' room shut tightly behind her, however, the fear left, and she felt like a fool. She knew that James was a crutch, and she should go back to her own room and face the fear. She also knew that she wasn't strong enough to do so. Instead, she noted that Remus' bed was empty, and she climbed into the bed of James Potter.  
  
Sirius was completely confused when he woke and, for the second day in a row, saw Lily Evans sleeping comfortably in the seventh year boys' dormitory. Deciding that if James had actually managed to get Lily to date him, he would have been shouting it from the rooftops, and if James was Lily's boyfriend she wouldn't sleep in his bed, he ignored it.  
  
"James," he said loudly, watching his friend. "You're going to be late for class if you sleep longer." James opened his eyes blearily.  
  
"Okay, Sirius." The boy rose halfway in bed, then looked down at the sleeping girl he was holding in his arms. He kissed her head and shook her a little. "Come on, sweetie, we're going to be late." Lily opened her eyes and blinked up at him.  
  
She kissed his cheek and said, "Let me sleep." She then rolled off of him and snuggled into a pillow. Needless to say, this woke James up immediately and caused Sirius to start laughing his head off. James was still blinking at Lily's sleeping form with a strange smile on his face when Peter woke up and asked Sirius what the hell he was laughing about.  
  
"James' night time visitor came again last night," Sirius said, finally stopping. Peter looked at Lily and then at James.  
  
"I thought you said you weren't dating and you didn't know why she came into our room." He half accused.  
  
James didn't reply, which irritated Peter, who looked as though he was about to say something more when Sirius interrupted him. "Leave him be, Lily just kissed him and he doesn't know which way is up." Upon hearing this, Peter started laughing, which set Sirius off again, the noise waking up Frank and Lily.  
  
The two sleepers simultaneously shouted "Shut up," and threw pillows in Sirius' general direction, then sat up immediately looking disoriented.  
  
"Lily is here again," Frank asked.  
  
"Crap, I slept in again," Lily exclaimed. She got up and proceeded wordlessly out of the room.  
  
"Prongs," Sirius said, snapping his fingers in front of his friend's face. "Explain," he demanded. James came back to reality.  
  
"Like I told you yesterday, I didn't know she was in the room until you woke me up. Although I'm starting to hope she appears tomorrow. I mean, she did kiss me, didn't she?" Suddenly, James looked as though he was unsure, and he turned to Sirius, and asked the question again. "She did kiss me, right? I wasn't dreaming?"  
  
Sirius smiled at his friend, "No, Prongs, you weren't dreaming, but Lily most definitely was." James sighed contentedly and leaned back into his pillows.  
  
"It still counts," he said softly. "She kissed me, and I was me this time."  
  
Frank looked curiously at James' turn of phrase, but shrugged it off and left to go shave. Sirius waited until he was sure the boy was gone, then proceeded to smother James with a pillow. "Why don't you just run through the castle shouting 'I'm an Animagus'?"  
  
"Do you think it would get Lily to kiss me," James asked, pushing the pillow off of his face curiously.  
  
The day proceeded uneventfully, but it was the third and final day of the full moon. Everything proceeded exactly as it had the two days before, although Lily was concerned about Friday when she would go to Divination and James would not be there. She was fine for short periods away from him, when he was around a corner or in the bathroom, but she wasn't sure how she'd go over an hour without seeing him. She just hoped she didn't have to flee in the middle of class to run and find him. She felt a little like he was a drug. The fear wasn't something that existed without him, but a withdrawal symptom when he was taken away.  
  
Lily had the exact same dream for the third night in a row, but she managed to fight the fear and stay in her room for a full fifteen minutes and thirty four seconds. At five past four exactly, Lily sprinted out of her room and ran to the boys' dormitory barely catching her breath as she leaned against the door. Sirius watched her through half shut eyes as she sat on Remus' bed for a few minutes, lay on it, then got up, shook her head, and slipped into bed with James. He didn't remotely understand what he was seeing, but he now believed James when he said he had no knowledge of Lily entering the room. She was very quiet about the whole thing.  
  
Sirius woke groggily the next morning, and he certainly understood why Lily seemed so tired. Four am was rather late to be getting to bed. He sat up, hoping he'd caught her. She appeared to be waking up, so Sirius pretended to be asleep and watched her as she grinned over at his bed. She then kissed James' forehead and got up, exiting the room. Sirius bounced up and woke up his friend. "Lily isn't here," James said, and there was a glad tone in his voice that threw Sirius for a moment.  
  
"She was earlier," Sirius said, suddenly unsure of how his friend would take the news.  
  
"She beat you awake," James asked.  
  
"Sort of, I pretended to be asleep to see what she did. It was weird, man. Last night at about four, she came in here huffing and puffing like she'd just outrun a pack of werewolves. Then she sort of sat on Remus' bed and looked at you a bit. She lay down, and I thought she was asleep, because you know I don't have the best view of his bed from mine, but then she sat up again, shaking her head. Then she got into bed with you and cuddled up, falling asleep." James smiled a little sadly.  
  
"I guessed that's about how it was falling out," James said. "She obviously has a reason to be here other than the pleasure of my company. I'd imagine she'd avoid sleeping in my bed if she could."  
  
"You haven't heard my best news," Sirius smiled, now sure that his friend would like what he had to say. "This morning she woke up and grinned over at my bed, which isn't that hard to find a reason for, she was happy I wasn't waking her up by laughing at her. Then she sort of looked down at you and smiled, and then. babababummmm"  
  
"Get to the point, Sirius," James said grumpily.  
  
"She kissed you! For the first time, Lily Evans, in what we can presumably be to be her right mind, kissed you without coercion on the forehead!" Sirius grinned at his friend who leapt to his feat and let out a whoop. Then James frowned.  
  
"Why'd she have to do it when I was asleep," he grumbled. Then he smiled broadly again. "Who cares! I'm getting closer!"  
  
Remus was at breakfast that morning, so Lily knew she would get a chance to talk to him. That almost made up for the fact that today was Friday and she had divination without James. Unfortunately, Lily didn't get a chance to talk to Remus before lunch and divination was Lily's first class after lunch. To the mild surprise of many Gryffindors, at the end of the meal, she got up and hugged James for a full four minutes before leaving. He did not seem to mind, causing several people to wonder if they were a couple. The news of the hug did not spread beyond the table, however, as most thought Lily was actually angry with James and trying to squeeze the air out of him as payback for something or another.  
  
Lily managed to make it through Divination. They were crystal gazing, and she saw Remus under a full moon turning into a werewolf. She kept the vision to herself, however, not wanting to expose her friend if Professor Metoki didn't know his secret. Instead she said she saw Gryffindor flattening Slytherine in the next Quidditch match, and Peter cut in from the back of class that you didn't need an inner eye to predict that. Everyone laughed. Lily knew she was lucky that she always felt comfortable in the warm attic and that the class was her favorite. The fear did set in, but it wasn't that bad. When class was dismissed, she did leave at a sprint, but she found James waiting just outside for her. She hugged him quickly, and they waited for Peter before walking together to the common room to change their books before heading for Care of Magical Creatures.  
  
After class with Professor Kettleburn, Lily pulled Remus aside and insisted that the other Marauders go on ahead. "I hope you're feeling better," she said. This threw Remus off; because he was pretty sure he'd been visiting his sick mother.  
  
"Yes, I am, thank you," he replied.  
  
"I hear the transformations can get pretty rough," she said sympathetically, not releasing her hold on his arm as he paled and tried to extract it. "I understand why you didn't tell me," she continued, "especially after my father's death. I'm not mad or anything, I just thought you should know that I figured it out."  
  
"When," Remus asked, taking the hand that she had in his arm with his other hand as well and cradling it to his chest.  
  
"Three days ago. I had a dream about it, and I'm pretty good with the whole divination thing excepting my block around Mr. Stag as my soul mate. It wasn't that difficult to interpret. I even saw it again in my crystal ball today. And I just put it together, in retrospect I'm kicking myself for having not realized earlier." Remus smiled at her. It was a perfectly Lily thing to say, she glossed right over the fact that he was a murderous beast and skipped to her inadequacy at putting everything together. She always knew how to make someone feel better.  
  
Remus stopped and turned to face her. "I'll understand if you don't want to be around me for a bit," he said softly, looking into her eyes.  
  
"How could you even suggest that," she asked, hugging him tightly. Remus saw James watching them with a strange look on his face and started laughing. He shook his head at his friend. "What is so funny," Lily asked, pulling away from him.  
  
"Nothing," he said. "I'm just always so worried about people accepting me, and every single time someone's found out, they've become even closer friends with me. Well, not every time. Snape found out and it didn't exactly make us buddy-buddy."  
  
"Snape knows and I didn't," Lily pouted.  
  
"I'll tell you all about it later," Remus said, offering his arm to Lily with a grin. "Shall we, my lady?" Lily took it with a mock curtsy. Remus set a quick pace because he was trying to catch up with James before James started walking with some non-marauder.  
  
When they caught him, they were almost inside the castle. "James," Remus said, grabbing his arm. "You're a hard guy to catch."  
  
"What can I do for you," James asked without the warm animation that usually defied his voice. Lily's smile faltered slightly, but Remus' just grew.  
  
"Lily has figured out Mooney's secret," Remus said proudly.  
  
An enormous grin grew across James' face. "I told you she wouldn't shun you," he said, his voice coming alive again and letting Lily feel much better. "Lily is way too cool to be prejudiced, aren't you Lily?" Lily smiled and nodded. Then, James' smile faltered slightly, as though a thought had occurred to him.  
  
"Nope, Prongs," Remus said, as though a similar thought had occurred to him. "Don't worry about it. Mooney's secret is safe with Lily." James simply nodded and took Lily's other arm, and they walked into the castle together. 


	6. A Letter of Introduction

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, the setting and most of the characters are the property of that gorgeous author J.K. Rowling. It would be pretty pointless to sue me because I'm not profiting from this in any way other than as writing practice and the enjoyment I get from telling the story. The Runic Invocation is from The Book of Runes by Ralph H. Blum, as is most of my information on divination with Runes.  
  
Self Deprecating Statement: I know it's late, and it probably sucks too, I've been busy and I'm sorry.  
  
James was in a bit of a fix. Now that Lily had so effortlessly discovered Remus' secret, he had absolutely no excuse to keep his identity as Prongs hidden. In fact, it was probably a stupid idea to try, because Lily was having consistently more accurate and frequent visions. She also wasn't stupid, and probably already knew that the Marauders did something to ease Mooney's transformations. It was only a matter of time until she found out that he was the stag she confessed her secrets to.  
  
This, of course, was exactly the problem. James knew he had been violating her trust and her privacy the entire time he had been meeting her as Prongs, and he had absolutely no excuse that she would possibly accept. He wanted to tell her, but he also wanted to be selfish. He wanted to keep his position as Lily's confidant until he was absolutely positive that she loved him and would be with him even when he told her. The trouble was; he also knew exactly how much he was risking by lying to her.  
  
James let days slip by without telling her, and after each day it grew more difficult. On Saturday, he didn't wake to find her in his bed as he was practically accustomed to, although she did sprint down to the common room in her pajamas to give him a hug the second she awoke. It was a slow process, but through that week her fear dissipated and she no longer needed him as desperately. On Wednesday, she apparently felt so much better that she snuck out to the Forbidden Forest to see Prongs. James tried to meet her as close to the building as he could without arousing suspicion, hoping that she trusted Prongs as much as she trusted James.  
  
"I think James suspects something," Lily stated without preamble as she fed the stag his first apple. "I couldn't come out here sooner because I was cursed with fear, and the Forbidden Forest can be a scary place. Of course I'm hoping that you'll protect me, and if I weren't cursed, I'd be fearless because I trust you. I am cursed, though, and the only time I'm not choking down trembles is when James Potter is next to me.  
  
"He knows this, which is why I suspect he knows something is up. To be perfectly honest, I'm not even positive I'm not in love with him anymore. There is that little nagging doubt in the back of my head; a voice that whispers 'If you didn't love him, why would you trust him so much?' and I don't know what to do about that voice."  
  
Prongs nuzzled her sympathetically, begging for another apple. She got one out of her bag, feeling almost guilty, as though she was bribing the beast to listen to her troubles. "James has been really kind to me while I've needed him," Lily continued. "He was completely understanding when I had nightmares and needed to sneak into the boys' dorm just to wake up next to him. He'd also do little things, like show up at my Divination class to meet me on Friday or sitting alone with me to do homework. He is a great guy, and a cute boy. I have every reason to like him, even baring the fact that he is my soul mate and one of my closest friends, but I don't. I really don't think I do."  
  
"Besides," Lily said suddenly after letting a moment of silence lapse, "it would hurt Amos. I don't want to do anything to hurt Amos, so I'm not going to ask James to the Ball. Do you hear me, Prongs? I'm just not going to."  
  
Because Lily felt as though she was really talking aloud to herself, James always had a slightly difficult time understanding what she really meant when she was explaining things to Prongs. This was easy enough to get, however, James thought, snickering; all he had to do was ask her to the Ball.  
  
Thursday morning, when Lily came sprinting into James' dormitory for her morning hug, he told her he had something he wanted to talk to her about and asked if she would wait for him before going to breakfast. Lily agreed with her famous grin, but after she left James got a good deal of cooing from Sirius.  
  
"Finally going to ask her out," Remus asked, having been awake enough to witness the exchange.  
  
"Of course he is," Sirius cooed, "he looooooves her!"  
  
"Yes, I am, and yes I do," James stated factually as he pulled off his shirt to change into his school robes. "Wish me luck."  
  
"Wow, I thought you were all joking," Peter said, flashing a brilliant smile. "Good for you, Prongs. Don't screw this up."  
  
"Good luck," Remus echoed while Sirius pretended to cry, "My best friend is finally growing up!"  
  
****  
  
"You wanted to talk to me," Lily asked, waiting next to the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"Yeah," James said, his mouth going dry and his cheeks flushing slightly. "It has been more than half an hour and I was wondering if you had a date to the Ball."  
  
"No," Lily said slowly, "technically there are still only twenty-four people who know about it. Although I guess you told the Marauders because Elizabeth was searching catalogues for dress robes yesterday."  
  
"I did," James said, unwilling to let the subject change so easily. "Do you have anyone in mind that you would like to go with?"  
  
Again, Lily replied very slowly, "No, not really. I am probably just going to go with the first interesting guy that asks me."  
  
"Am I interesting," James asked, swallowing the last part of the word and not daring to breathe lest the sentence fall from its hook in the air and smash into a million pieces on the floor under Lily's heel.  
  
"Yes," Lily said softly and very hesitantly.  
  
"Will you go to the Ball with me, Lily Evans?"  
  
"Yes," Lily whispered, surprising herself. "I mean," she interjected quickly, "are you sure you wouldn't rather go with a real girl, though? Not one of your friends, I mean, but someone you were interested in?" Lily spoke rapidly, until she realized she was babbling and stopped abruptly.  
  
James hardly knew what to say to that, his only option was the truth. "I was hoping, that maybe it would be okay for me to be interested in you, not just as one of my friends. I think you are a real girl, Lily."  
  
Lily blushed and wasn't able to speak for a minute. When she managed to get a word out, it was not the gentle let down she was trying to formulate in her frazzled mind. "Okay," she whispered. Then she abruptly grabbed her book bag and sprinted to the Great Hall for breakfast, leaving James to sigh over her acceptance and to chuckle over the absurdity of it.  
  
Lily wasn't able to look James in the eye without blushing profusely until Friday, the day before the Christmas Holidays started, when Professor Dumbledore announced the Ball to the whole school. The time elapsed made no difference, but after being forced to say "I'm sorry, I've already agreed to go with James" fifty or so times in one day, she learned to get used to the idea.  
  
She had, of course, emptied all of her feelings on this matter out to Prongs. He was sympathetic, although the poor stag might have been confused. Lily's emotions ranged from wanting to kiss James Potter's adorably kissable lips and tell him she loved him to wishing he'd never asked her to go with him so she wouldn't hurt him when she told him she felt nothing more than platonic love for him, wonderful boy though he was. Prongs noted joyfully that the girl seemed to feel far more for him now than she ever had before.  
  
Friday night, after a long day of turning down offers, Lily went to sleep, anticipating being practically alone in Gryffindor Tower over the holidays, even though she would be staying to work and wouldn't get to see her mother and sister on Christmas. Her mother was a little disappointed, but she knew that everyone would be safer if Lily stayed on at Hogwarts. Lily did not hide the fact that muggle-born witches were being persecuted and killed, although it made her mother very nervous. Petunia, Lily's sister, was still angry with Lily for not saving their father with her magic. Lily wasn't exactly blamed by her sibling, but things were tense between them, and she knew Petunia would pretend to be glad not to see her sister.  
  
In the morning, Lily awoke to an empty room and she challenged herself to see how long she could stay in bed before running to seek out James. Luckily, the Head Boy had also decided to stick around and help her finish up the plans for the Ball. Almost twenty minutes passed in the warm morning sunlight before she sprang out of bed and sprinted through Gryffindor Tower seeking him. She did not find him in his room and she began to panic, asking everyone where he was, but no one had seen James yet that morning. All of the other Marauders had returned home for the break, and Lily began to wonder frantically if James had joined them and not mentioned anything to her when the boy came through the portrait hole with a tray of food.  
  
When he saw Lily sprinting toward him with a look of intense relief on her face, he put the tray down and hugged her tightly. "Sorry," he whispered. "I'm very sorry. I went to get you some breakfast, but I guess I woke up later than I thought. See, I got you some eggs from the house elves." Lily sighed and smiled.  
  
"As long as you didn't go home for the break," Lily said, pulling away from him upon remembering that things were slightly awkward between them at the moment.  
  
"You thought I'd leave you here," James exclaimed in surprise.  
  
"Well, not as such, but I was nervous and wondered if your mum had owled you late last night or something demanding your presence for Christmas in only the way that a mother can."  
  
"You needn't have worried about that," James said, and Lily caught the glimmer of a tear in his eye.  
  
"What is wrong," Lily asked.  
  
"Nothing," he replied, feeling guilty for knowing all of her secrets yet not revealing any of his own. "Did I get you this breakfast for nothing, or are you going to go back upstairs and pretend to be asleep so I can pretend to be charming?"  
  
Lily laughed and ran back up to the girls' dormitory, flopping into her bed and arranging the covers. James came in quietly and she snapped her eyes shut. After he opened the curtains on the window, he whispered close to her ear, "Good morning, Sunshine."  
  
Lily made her eyes flutter slowly open, and she pretended to look sleepily at him. "Good morning yourself," she said, pretending to stifle a yawn. He really stifled a laugh as he presented her with a tray containing two breakfasts of eggs, toast and bacon along with a pitcher of pumpkin juice.  
  
"If the lady cares to break her fast, I hope this will suffice," he said, bowing.  
  
"That looks great," Lily said, sitting up. "Did I miss breakfast or did you just decide to go to the house elves," she asked, knowing the answer as well as he did.  
  
James sat down on her bed and put the tray between them. "I went to the house elves," he answered. "I thought that I could apologize for whatever it is that I did to make you avoid me when you didn't need my presence recently."  
  
"Oh," Lily said blushing. "Um, I, uh," she caught herself, waited a moment, then spoke, avoiding his eyes. "I am the one who should apologize. I've just felt a little awkward since you asked me out. I'm not entirely sure how to act around you." Lily took a bite of her eggs calmly. "These are delicious," she stated, attempting to change the subject.  
  
"I'm glad," he said, then without pause returned to the subject. "Act however you want to act around me; I hope we won't stop being friends just because I asked you out. If you want to, we can pretend it never happened."  
  
Lily looked into his eyes immediately and she saw a nervous half smile on his lips. "No," she said, then quickly looked away. "No, I don't want to pretend it never happened." If she'd been able to look at him, she would have seen what Sirius and Remus had long dubbed the "Sappy Lily Grin" spread across his face. She would have seen how much cuter he looked when his face was lit by pure joy, but as she couldn't look at his face, she only stared intently at his warm hand that had somehow found its way on top of hers.  
  
Then she remembered something. "I had a really odd dream last night. I think it was a vision, but I'm not sure what it was a vision of. Would you mind if I bounced it off you? Professor Metoki won't be around for the break, her sister's husband was killed recently and she needs family around. I really just need to hear myself explain it, but I won't see Prongs until this evening."  
  
"Of course I don't mind," James said, taking a bite of his toast with the hand that wasn't holding Lily's.  
  
"I dreamed that I was riding Prongs through a meadow. He was running faster than anything I'd ever experienced and I was having the time of my life, everything was so new and amazing. I guess that's all I can say, it was just, amazing." If Lily looked up, she would have seen James blush beet red. "Then, suddenly, we'd come to the edge of a cliff, and we had to stop. My mother was there and I got off of Prongs to talk with her. She just smiled sadly at me, though, and then she fell over the side of the cliff." Lily looked at James, who'd managed to stop blushing.  
  
"Is that all," he asked.  
  
"Yes," Lily replied. "Now that I've said it out loud, I seriously fear it to be a death omen, although I still don't understand the bit about Prongs. I think that stag is going to remain a mysterious factor in my visions, although I hope I can figure him out."  
  
James looked down and took a big bite of his breakfast. Now, he thought, I should tell her now, but he didn't. Instead he asked, "Will you warn her?"  
  
"Of course I'll warn her, but I don't have any specifics to warn her about. I don't know when, where or what will kill her. I really doubt it will be a result of her falling off of a cliff. I'll owl her immediately to tell her to be careful and ask if she wants me home, though."  
  
"You don't know that going home could help," James reminded her. "Divination is remarkably complicated; maybe she'll be safe as long as you don't act on your vision. Remember, you moved to go to her just as she died."  
  
"That's true," Lily said slowly. "At the same time, however, she looked like she knew she was dying."  
  
"Well, I'm not even taking the class," James said jovially breaking the heavy mood, "so I don't really have any advice. Maybe you could tell Dumbledore?"  
  
"He has other things to worry about," Lily said with a small smile. "One life really doesn't mean much in these times."  
  
"I'm sure Dumbledore would disagree," James said strongly. "One life will always matter to him, and to any truly good wizard."  
  
"Of course," Lily agreed, but she did not go to see Dumbledore about her vision. Lily wrote her mother shortly after they finished eating, and she got little work done while she waited impatiently for a response and a confirmation of her wellbeing. She received a letter just after lunch telling her not to worry so much, but that Mrs. Evans would not take her life into her hands for any foolish reasons. Lily was forced to be satisfied with this response, so she continued her work happily through the day.  
  
Lily saw Prongs that evening and they stood together just outside of the Forbidden Forest with Lily talking and Prongs feeding. "I think I'm a bit of a fool," Lily stated softly to her confidant. "I'm really glad that you are my only witness, Prongs. I suddenly have the feeling that I am in love with James Potter, that I have been for quite a while, and maybe that I have been ever since first year. We had a good talk this morning, I still blushed at pretty much every other sentence, but it was not nearly as awkward as things have been since he asked me out. I realized that just sitting there, eating eggs with him, made me happy. I was always comfortable sitting silently with Amos, but it never made me happy the way I've always felt around James. He just, I don't know, makes things better."  
  
Lily paused for a moment, stroking Prongs gently. "I am pretty sure I'm not making any sense. I've always felt a little happier around James. When we talk or sit together, my day just gets a little brighter. I don't know if that is love, but my separate realization today is that I love James Potter. The confusion only comes in when I wonder if I feel doubly euphoric because I've admitted this to myself or if this is an entirely fresh feeling." Lily sighed and handed the stag another apple. "I love James Potter," she said, trying out the words. They tasted wonderfully.  
  
"I'm in no way ready to tell him that," she laughed self-consciously, "but I'm in love with him." Prongs looked a little bashful as he finished his apple. "You're done hanging around with me, then?" Lily pretended to pout. "Go on then," she laughed, and the stag walked away from her a little ways before springing into a bouncing gallop.  
  
The next morning, Lily was awakened by a big dark hawk that she'd never seen before. It was screeching into her ear, and she noticed it had a letter tied to its leg. She undid it, causing the bird to scratch her before leaving. Her hand was bleeding, but she didn't really want to curse a defenseless animal, so she just swore silently to herself and did a healing charm on her palm. She then opened the letter.  
  
Dearest Lily Evans,  
  
I do not regret to inform you that your muggle mother is recently deceased. I killed her approximately four minutes before sitting down to write this letter. I have left your sister alive, for which you should be thankful. I will not, however, hesitate to kill her and any others I feel are close to you if I do not receive prompt evidence that you are willing to follow me. I am well aware that you are a high caliber seer, perhaps the greatest in recent generations, and I would be remiss if I did not seek out such a talent, even if it is possessed by a muggle born witch.  
  
Do keep in mind that while I would very much like to have your talent in my army, I by no means need it. I will not beg you, and you will be lucky if I ask twice. If you do not join me, you will be slaughtered with the rest of the mudblood filth. You have until your Yule Ball to come to a decision, have a lovely holiday.  
  
Sincerely, Lord Voldemort  
  
Lily wordlessly rose, and exited her dorm. Still in her pajamas, she walked, as if in a dream, through the hallways of Hogwarts. She gave the password mindlessly to the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office and she entered, sitting at a chair in front of his desk, patiently waiting for him to enter. After a time, it could have been a minute or an hour as far as Lily knew, he entered, looking mildly surprised to find her there.  
  
"Miss Evans, this is an unexpected pleasure, did an idea strike you for the Yule Ball?" When she turned at the sound of his voice, he suddenly became grave. "Whatever is the matter?"  
  
"I think someone has played a horrible joke on me, Professor," Lily said, handing him the letter. "That was delivered to me by a black hawk this morning." Lily still didn't seem to be affected, but Dumbledore took the letter and perused it, his face grave.  
  
"This is his hand," Dumbledore said softly and not unkindly. "This was written by Voldemort. He is obviously trying to recruit you, but by no means despair your mother's life, I would have received a ministry letter telling me of it if she were killed."  
  
"I had a vision of her death," Lily said slowly, still in that same dreamy tone. "I wrote her a letter to warn her, but what warning could I give to a muggle woman to keep her safe from the dark lord. And now Petty is next, I can't let him hurt her, not until we get over the fight. It will be worse now, now that mum is dead, too. I wonder if he knew I was such a great seer when he tried to kill me, or maybe they were just trying to act under their own initiative, maybe they thought they'd score some brownie points by killing the mudblood Head Girl." Lily turned her face to the headmaster. "My mother is dead," she said certainly.  
  
At that moment, a barn owl swooped into the office and dropped a letter onto the headmaster's desk. He opened it slowly, read it carefully, then he looked up at Lily, met her eyes, and nodded. She burst into silent tears, shaking uncontrollably. "I'm very sorry," Dumbledore said, taking her by her shoulders and walking with her back to her common room where she could find friends to ease her pain. "I will make sure the Ministry puts your sister under protection. Nothing will happen to Petunia."  
  
"Thank you, Professor," Lily said, her voice quivering. "What do you think I should do about his deadline?"  
  
"Ignore it," Dumbledore stated firmly. "Never concede to evil. That must be our motto in these dark times. If you joined him, however unwillingly, he would break you easily and with your aid added to his already considerable forces, he would kill many, possibly even those you joined to protect."  
  
Lily turned to him, "She died for me. I cannot bear it if another suffers the same fate."  
  
"I assure you, Lily, I could not bear it either. None of my students deserve to live under his reign of terror. I only pray that we will find a way to end it." Dumbledore left her at the portrait of the fat lady, and she went in to return to her room and bemoan the loss of her mother and the fate of the world.  
  
James found her there not much later. "Hey, I already checked in here, I must have missed you at breakfast," he said, seeing her sitting on her bed, facing the wall. He had, of course, entered without knocking. She tuned to face him and the smile died on his lips. She looked even worse than the day she'd done the second soul mate spell. "What's wrong," he asked, sitting next to her.  
  
"Voldemort killed mum to get me to join him," she sobbed simply, causing a fresh torrent of tears to rain down her cheeks. He grabbed her in both arms and held her tightly, not saying anything. She allowed herself to be held, soaking his shirt with a salt lake. He in no way understood what she was talking about, but he understood that her mother was dead, and he tried his best to comfort her.  
  
"You know, I've only told the Marauders this," he said, after a few minutes of holding her, "but my mum and dad were killed by him too. During the summer before Fifth Year, they died while I was at Sirius' house."  
  
"James," Lily exclaimed, forgetting her tears for a minute. "How could I have not known that?"  
  
"I sort of meant to tell everyone eventually. It was just a shock at first, flying home and seeing the Dark Mark just floating there. I asked the Marauders not to tell anyone, to let me tell when I was ready, and I guess I've just never been ready. You've already lost your dad, so I can't tell you that it'll get better with time, you know that's a load of blarney." Lily started to cry again, but she didn't look away from him. "I will tell you that I'm going to be the one to kill Voldemort, and you can help me." Lily laughed slightly through her tears and buried her head against his shoulder again.  
  
"He wants me to See for him," she choked. "I'd rather do it for you, though." James smiled and slowly stroked her hair while she cried until she had no more tears.  
  
The next day was Christmas Eve. As an early present, Lily received a ministry letter telling her it would be far too dangerous for her to go to her mother's funeral. Petunia would not be attending either. This set Lily off crying again, which in turn kept Gryffindor Tower from feeling very Christmas-y.  
  
Lily wouldn't leave her dorm room. She wasn't close with anyone other than James who'd stayed back, so he was the only person she would, or wanted to, see. She cried on his shoulder, ate a little of the food he brought up, and showed him pictures, both wizard and muggle, of her mother and father. He tried to distract her on occasion with a detail for the ball or a charms question, but mostly, he just let her mourn her parents.  
  
On Christmas morning, therefore, James was utterly shocked when a ball of red headed flame pounced on his stomach crying "Presents!" like a hawk tearing from the sky onto an unsuspecting rodent.  
  
"Happy Christmas to you to, Lily," he muttered sitting up with a grunt.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," she said smiling, then proceeded to grab his hand and yank him forcibly out of bed, running down to the common room without releasing him. There were other Gryffindors chatting happily and opening their gifts about the common room, and Lily and James crawled together under the enormous tree to find the ones marked for them.  
  
"Here's one for you James, I think it's from Sirius," Lily said, handing him the neatly wrapped present. "Ooooh," she said, finding one of her own, "It's from Peter and it's heavy!"  
  
She started to unwrap the box, but James snatched it from her and said, "Uh, maybe you don't want to open this just yet." Lily blinked up at him a hint of a tear and a question in her eyes and he realized he'd just made things a thousand times worse. "Never mind, here you go. Tear away." Lily took it, but she was a little subdued as she opened it.  
  
It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. It was a perfectly carved golden set of runes for Divination. They were beautifully illuminated and she could tell they'd been hand made by someone who knew what they were doing; they were probably spelled for increased accuracy as well. She fingered the rune of fate for a few moments, noting her own reflection in the perfectly polished surface, then she put it back into its bag and smiled at James.  
  
"Remind me to thank him, this is a beautiful gift," she said, and James sighed with relief. Lily was a little nervous about her prospects as a seer; he was glad she was not blaming Divination for her mother's demise.  
  
"He said you'd be starting Runes in your class after the holiday, he thought you'd like to have your own set," James returned softly.  
  
"He was right," Lily said, smiling broadly. "Now you, sir, haven't opened a single gift yet!"  
  
Presents were torn through at a remarkable rate. Books, Quidditch balls, candy, broom servicing equipment, and jewelry seemed to have fallen under the tree like the dead dry needles. Lily's tears came for a moment when she received a present from her mother, obviously sent a little early. It was a beautiful book on protection spells and curse blocking with a note that said Mrs. Evans hoped her daughter was always safe in the wizarding world.  
  
From Lily, James received a rather interesting pocket watch. At least, it interested James because it looked like a simple muggle one, although it was very handsome. He looked at her slightly confused, and she beckoned him closer, whispering an explanation in his ear. "I got it in Knockturn Alley. It isn't quite a time turner, it can only handle five minutes at the most, and you can't be in two places at once, you're still you, exactly where you were five minutes ago or however many seconds you set yourself back. It will, of course, always keep the correct time. You should be careful with it, though, as it is rather against Ministry regulations to have one."  
  
James blinked at Lily. She never even broke school rules, and she was giving him an illegal pocket watch for Christmas? "I thought you'd like it," she said nervously.  
  
"Like it, I love it," he exclaimed, kissing her cheek and throwing his arms around her, causing her to blush furiously and act like a furnace for that part of the common room. "Open mine," he insisted, handing her a delicately wrapped box.  
  
Lily slowly slid the shining wrapping paper off the square cherry-wood box. A beautiful running unicorn shied on the lid and galloped gracefully, so smoothly that Lily could hardly recall that it was a moving carving, and not a photograph, in spite of the lack of color. She tilted the lid back on its golden hinges and peered into the blue velvet lined box. Inside was a milky white pearl only a little smaller than her crystal ball. She looked to James.  
  
"Go on, take it out and hold it," he suggested, a slight smile on his face. Lily did as he suggested, and immediately the depths started swirling. "I know you sometimes lose thoughts like I do; you'll get a good idea and forget to write it down, and then a minute later you won't know what the idea was. This is a Contemplator, it's a little like a cross between a Rememberall and a Pensive. It will show you those thoughts you can't find, of course it has a bit of a fault. If there is something you're trying desperately to not think of, or there is something deeply disturbing your thoughts, it will be overloaded and just show that."  
  
"Cosmic," Lily whispered, as the Contemplator showed a beautiful gauzy curtain design for the decorations of the Great Hall that had occurred to Lily just as she was falling asleep the night before. Lily carefully replaced the item in its box, then leapt at James hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Jamie!" He smiled, and returned the hug.  
  
When presents were all unwrapped, they had breakfast, after which they played chess and Exploding Snap with the other muggle born Gryffindors who decided to stay back. Lily wanted to do some work, but James was dead set against it during the holiday, so they simply spent the entire time playing. At dinner, they pulled wizard crackers and sang Christmas carols. Lily had to leave the table for a little while to cry, but she returned after a bit and managed to ignore the looks of sympathy that everyone shot her.  
  
It is safe to say, that by the end of the holidays when the rest of Lily's friends returned, she was much closer to James. Ironically, they still hadn't kissed. Over the break there was more than one moment where a kiss could have come into being, but it never seemed to happen. Not that Lily necessarily objected; she didn't need a boyfriend or a make-out buddy right now; she needed James, her friend.  
  
Lily asked James to tell people about her mother, and he complied with her wishes. As Lily herself did not broach the subject, however, everyone was sitting awkwardly around the common room. Lily couldn't take it anymore. "Sirius," she said perkily, "let me tell you your future!" She dropped her book, and bounced over to where he was sitting uncomfortably and extended a hand to him.  
  
"Um, okay," he said, taking the hand. Lily sat him in a comfortable chair and settled herself across from him, placing her crystal ball in between them. She placed her hands on the orb and concentrated, rubbing the surface and peering into its depths.  
  
The fog within the crystal slowly condensed and took shape, making Lily gasp. It was a big, black animal, and as the image grew clearer, she had no choice but to acknowledge the only possible omen that it could be. "Oh my God, Sirius, you have the Grim!" Her eyes widened and she searched the depths frantically for other omens that could give her details.  
  
"Erm, isn't that the big black dog," Sirius asked uncomfortably.  
  
"Yes, now please, concentrate; maybe I can get enough to help you!" Lily was frantic, but all she saw in the fog was the dog. As her mind became more hectic, the fog took over, and there was nothing more within the crystal. "Shit," she exclaimed, "I lost it!"  
  
"That's okay," Sirius said, shifting his weight. "I don't believe that load of hooey anyhow. Maybe it wasn't a Grim, maybe it was just Snuffles a lovable stray that I'll meet in Hogsmead the next time I go." Lily looked up at him, a tear in her eye.  
  
"My mum didn't take warning either, Sirius; I'm going to do some serious Divination for you. James, would you go find some tea for us? I'm going up to my room to get my new Runes. I know we technically haven't started with them yet, but they'll give us the most detailed picture of anything." James nodded to her, his throat dry, knowing that she was concerned for nothing, but unable to tell her the truth. Acknowledging his own cowardice, he went off to the kitchens to fetch a pot of tea.  
  
Lily returned with the runes before James had the tea, so she decided to start with those. She made Sirius hold the runes for a little while as she said the invocation over them, making him repeat her words:  
  
"God within me, God without, How shall I ever be in doubt? There is no place where I may go And not there see God's face, not know I am God's vision and God's ears. So through the harvest of my years I am the Sower and the Sown,  
  
God's Self unfolding and God's own."  
  
Lily then unfolded and spread her rune cloth upon the table where the crystal ball had stood a few minutes before. She decided to begin with a simple, three rune reading, because she was not yet comfortable with them. Lily placed her hands over Sirius' and asked the question "How may we keep Sirius from death?" She drew three runes from the bag he held and placed them face down from left to right.  
  
Lily turned over the first Rune, the overview, and let out a sigh of relief. It was Algiz, the Rune of Protection, and it was not reversed. It did not suggest that he needed caution, but that he was safe. She told him this, and he smiled. She then moved onto the second Rune, in the position of the challenge. The rune Mannaz, the rune of self, was reversed in this position. Lily did not fully understand what it meant, but she postulated hopefully that Sirius did not need to be worried about himself and his own safety. This was a good reading and it helped to put her at ease. She turned over the course of action. It was Nauthiz, the Rune of Constraint and Pain. What was to come, to keep Sirius safe from death, would not be without pain for him, but Lily was still glad. It seemed that Sirius would be safe.  
  
She hugged him wordlessly after she finished the reading, and James entered the common room, fashionably late, with the pot of tea and several cups. "Done already," he asked.  
  
"Yep," Lily said, blinking back tears. "He's safe. He's not going to die. I was wrong, and maybe the Grim really was just Snuffles the lovable stray."  
  
James sat down in Lily's chair and poured the tea. "I think we could all use some tea after that scare anyway," he said comfortingly, "even if I did pick it up for nothing."  
  
The group who had been attentively watching Lily do the reading settled back with their tea. The miasma had broken and everyone chatted lazily about the classes they would be attending the next day. 


	7. Ballroom Snowflakes and a Battle

DISCLAIMER: The characters and Hogwarts belong to the lovely spinstress of stories: JK Rowling whom we all know and worship. Rage Against The Ministry belongs to MMM, I borrowed them with the permission of that author because I couldn't think of a name for my wizarding band. Zack De La Rocha as Mack de la Croix is mine, I though it was silly, and I had some fizzy water on my desk. "I Fought the Law" is a Clash song, all props to Sonny Curtis. "Hey, Jude", in case there are any doubts, belongs to the Beatles.  
  
The first week back after the Christmas Holliday no one except Lily paid attention in class; and Lily was one of the few from whom the professors would have accepted slacking. The students were all excited about the upcoming ball that weekend, far from being fresh from the holidays, they were anxious to extend them through the week preceding the ball.  
  
Dumbledore had been correct; however, about the school's need for a second pick me up. Many, like Lily, had lost family over the vacation or had been forced to relive sad memories upon going home. The crowed that stepped off of the Hogwarts Express was subdued, but after remembering and planning for the ball, Hogwarts was back to its usual cheerful state. It was a good idea, and although the teachers complained, in their hearts, none objected.  
  
For Lily, who already had her dress robes and was instead running around frantically trying to book the last minute details of the dance (Loki's Crones backed out on Tuesday and she had to bend over backwards to book Rage Against the Ministry as a backup), life was pretty normal. She had far too much to do and far too little time for any of it. She didn't have time to mope around or swoon over her date. Frankly, James wasn't all that swoon over-able at two in the morning the night before the dance when the two of them were working desperately with Professor Flitwick to fix the hex on the swirling snowflakes they were decorating the hall with.  
  
Lily slept until noon the Saturday of the dance, and she was the only person in Hogwarts to make it past ten thirty. She was the only person in Gryffindor Tower to make it past nine forty- five. This was her day, however, and she'd been working hard enough all week. She woke up, put on her uniform, ate a leisurely breakfast at the lunch table, and checked with James to make sure everything was settled. While every other girl who was to attend was running around like a headless mongoose trying to finish their makeup, Lily was calmly helping Professor Flitwick finish arranging the fairy lights.  
  
At four o'clock in the afternoon, Lily decided it was time to get into her dress robes. She took a deliciously scalding bath, scrubbing her hair and skin completely clean. She then pinned her hair loosely back with the realistic ebony lily she'd received from Petty for Christmas. Lily liked to use a mix of magical and muggle makeup, generally having fun with her face until she stumble across a color scheme she fancied. Lily hadn't quite given up on the naked, earthy look from the sixties yet, so she only wound up with a little eye shadow and lip stick. Lily silently passed the blush Elizabeth was frantically begging for as she got up to move away from her vanity.  
  
Lily then decided to be kind, and helped Elizabeth pin her hair up in different styles until she found one she liked. This took nearly an hour, but Lily liked toying with her friend's beautiful chestnut locks and she didn't mind at all. Glancing at her watch, and noting that it was already five after six, she decided to get into her dress robes. Deftly shedding her fluffy bathrobe, she looked into the mirror and stated firmly, "This is my night, I will have a beautiful time, and nothing will ruin it." Lily then put on her dress robes.  
  
James looked at his pocket watch. It was six thirty-two. Lily was only two minutes late. If he were taking any other girl, he would have made himself comfortable on a common room couch and accepted the fact that she was "making him wait". As he was taking Lily, he wondered if he should go up to the girls' dorm and make sure she hadn't broken a leg. He stood there uncertainly in his deep purple dress robes, waiting for a girl. And a gasp caught in his throat as he saw her coming down the stairs.  
  
The robes were as white as snow and they seemed to float around her, especially the billowing yet transparent sleeves. When she stepped down, he could see her silver, short heeled sandals that shone softly like the broad silver bracelets on both of her wrists. Around her neck was a tight silver necklace with an ebony pendant of some sort that rested just below her collarbone. The liquid flame was both tamed and untamed, cascading down her back, bouncing as she moved, yet held away from her face by the obsidian lilies James could recall seeing her unwrap Christmas morning. She approached him, smiling self consciously.  
  
"All right there, James," Lily asked, reaching the bottom of the stairs. "Sorry I'm late, I was helping Beth and I sort of lost track of the time," she explained, wondering why he was staring at her like that.  
  
"Are you late then," James asked, realizing that he should probably say something chivalrous. "I was early so I guess I didn't notice. I'm sure Sirius will be grateful for any help you gave his date, but she won't be able to compete with you. You've definitely got 'belle of the ball' nailed in those robes." Lily smiled, blushed and looked at her feet.  
  
"Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself, Mister Potter," she returned warmly, looking up at him again with laughter in her eyes, although the red remained in her cheeks.  
  
"Well then, Miss Evans, shall we to the ball?" He bowed and offered her an arm, which she took. Together, they walked through the practically empty halls, anticipating the final product of their mutual labors. It was a rewarding conversation.  
  
Together, they pushed open the doors to the Great Hall, and propped them open with a spell, one last detail to attend to before taking in their work. It was perfect. Billowing silver-white snow-like gauze draped gently from the walls, with sparkling fairies fluttering gently around above and behind it. The ceiling mirrored the perfectly clear stars outside, but charmed silver snow fell gently from it, accumulating no more than a millimeter on the floor. Smaller circular tables were positioned around the sides of the room, and the bandstand was set up nicely with white and silver instruments, although Rage Against the Ministry had yet to arrive.  
  
Lily and James sat together at the head table, where the teachers, prefects and their dates would be. This was one of the few tables that had people already there. In fact, most of the seats at the head table were filled. While they admired the decor, and accepted the admiration of the other prefects, more and more students filtered into the Great Hall. Lily completely ignored the half sad all knowing look Amos was shooting her from where he sat with his date. He was dating a very pretty Ravenclaw Prefect, and she refused to feel sorry for him.  
  
When it appeared most of the tables were full, Lily began to peruse her menu, discussing the various options with James. He laughed, knowing full well that they both knew the entire list by heart. Others near them looked at him strangely, but Professor Dumbledore chuckled appreciatively and asked Lily how long she'd known what she would be selecting this evening.  
  
"I've been planning on the Bourbon Chicken since I put it on the menu three weeks ago, Professor, I really recommend it," Lily replied cheerfully, letting everyone else in on the joke.  
  
"I'll take that under advisement, Miss Evans," he returned, his eyes sparkling, "The house elves do make a spectacular roast, though. I have yet to make up my mind."  
  
Through dinner, James was his usual charming self, and the pair got along just as famously as they always did. It was rather difficult for the prefects who'd known them for years to remember that something had changed between the two friends. Laughter and jokes were just as prominent as they had always been, and there was no unusual flirting.  
  
Something was subtly different, however. There was no longer any pretence needed between the two. For the most part, they spoke only with each other. Lily touched James' hair once, brushing it away from his face, and he held her hand for a little while when she rested it on the table. Their eyes met when they spoke and Lily no longer felt the need to blush and break the contact. She did blush, however, when she noticed Professor McGonagall smiling slightly at the two of them as she spoke in a hushed tone with Professor Flitwick.  
  
When the band arrived at quarter to eight and signaled that they were ready to begin, James immediately rose and bowed formally, asking if Lily was ready to open the dancing. He led her out onto the floor, and the other seventh year prefects did the same with their dates. The song was a slow waltz that she'd never heard before, probably because Rage wasn't known for their slow songs. James led boldly and he managed to make her feel graceful while they danced, something that she rarely achieved. As she never looked away from him, she hardly noticed when the other prefects and eventually the rest of the school joined the dance.  
  
The next song was more in the traditional Rage style, and by the third song everyone was rocking and discoing like there would be no tomorrow. "I need to catch my breath," Lily shouted over the music, and James nodded, taking her hand to lead her off of the dance floor.  
  
"Water?" he suggested. She gave him a quick nod and a smile, so he went to fetch some, but when he returned, he couldn't find her. "Have you seen my date," he asked Sirius who'd apparently decided to take a similar break with Elizabeth.  
  
"No, where did you last see her," Sirius asked laughing.  
  
"I'm sure I left her right here," James said in the same vein.  
  
"Yes, because girls are like car keys," Elizabeth stated, rolling her eyes.  
  
"No, if he was looking for car keys, I could use a Summoning Charm for him," Sirius said simply, leaning over to kiss her cheek.  
  
"You know, that's not a bad idea," James said, pretending to consider it. "But she might bump into a couple of people, and I don't think she'd like literally flying into my arms all that much."  
  
"Why would I be literally flying into your arms," Lily asked, snaking her arm around his waist.  
  
"Sirius was going to Accio you for me," James replied, handing her the water.  
  
"Thanks!" Lily drank the icy water thirstily.  
  
"I was going to get you a butterbeer, but I decided against it."  
  
"Thank God you did," Lily gasped, finally setting her glass down. "I was thirsty, and I sure didn't need to be warmed up anymore."  
  
"So where did you run off to," James asked, remembering that he was supposed to pout about her not waiting for him.  
  
"It's a secret!" Lily gave him a flirty smile, suggesting that he'd like the secret very much.  
  
"Tell or I tickle and you'll spill that water all over your nice dress," James threatened menacingly. Or rather, he was trying to be menacing, but he could barely manage to rein his grin into a sly smile.  
  
"I'll never tell," Lily swore while lofting her left hand because her right arm was still wrapped around her would be assailant.  
  
"I think you might be persuaded," James said, smirking at her as he attacked her sides with nimble fingers, causing her to laugh uncontrollably.  
  
His full plan was thwarted because she had finished her entire glass of water, but she was forced to capitulate anyway. "Okay, okay, I give," she choked out between giggles. He stopped tickling her, but she was having a very difficult time stopping her laughter.  
  
"Whenever you're ready," he said with a look of pure amusement. She forced herself to frown, broke out laughing again, then straightened up, looked at him, giggled a second time, and managed to get herself under control.  
  
"Well, I know you were bummed about not getting the Clash because they were muggle, but as it turns out, Mack also derives enjoyment from their music and Rage will occasionally, if pressed, do a cover of someone else." Lily's eyes still sparkled with mirth. "And if you'll notice, the opening chords of this song are faintly reminiscent of a favorite song of yours."  
  
James grinned broadly at her. "Well, since the song about to begin is so very much like my favorite song, something I'm sure you had nothing to do with, would you care to dance with me?"  
  
"I thought you'd never ask," Lily said, returning the grin and putting down her glass as he pulled her back to the dance floor.  
  
Mack began to sing, and James sang along while he danced. His eyes never left Lily's most of the time they were joking with her, cajoling her to forget everything serious, teasing her and smiling at her. He was having fun, and totally at ease with her.  
  
"Breakin' rocks in the hot sun I fought the law and the law won I fought the law and the law won I needed money 'cause I had none I fought the law and the law won I fought the law and the law won  
  
I left my baby and it feels so bad Guess my race is run She's the best girl that I ever had I fought the law and the law won I fought the law and the  
  
Robbin' people with a six-gun I fought the law and the law won I fought the law and the law won I lost my girl and I lost my fun I fought the law and the law won I fought the law and the law won  
  
I left my baby and it feels so bad Guess my race is run She's the best girl that I ever had I fought the law and the law won I fought the law and the  
  
I fought the law and the law won (7 times) I fought the law and the"  
  
As everyone clapped for the end of the song, James leaned over to Lily. For a brief, crazy moment she thought he was going to kiss her. Instead he spoke softly in her ear. "Thank you," he said, planting a soft kiss onto her cheek.  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about," she shouted back, a tell-tale red burning her guilt onto her face.  
  
"Sure you don't," James laughed back. As the band began to play another song, he added, "This really hurts my position, you know. I thought it was the guy's right to do the cute, chivalrous things!"  
  
"I have usurped that right with my feminine wiles," she shouted back. "Now dance!"  
  
Dance they did. Song after song they danced, mostly with one another, sometimes with friends and people who would have been offended if they weren't given a dance. There were two more water breaks, but the couple did not really stop dancing until the dance was completely over.  
  
"Alright," Mack de la Croix said softly into the magical microphone. "This is the last song, because it's midnight, and our guitars are going to turn back into pumpkins in a minute. It's a slow one for all of you couples who haven't snuck out for some alone time yet. Professor McGonagall would like you to know that you've made the correct choice, as patrolling teachers have already caught four separate couples. I asked her for their names, but she said we won't publicly embarrass them just now." Everyone laughed. "So here you go: one last song for the couples on the floor."  
  
James took one of Lily's hands in his own, placing his other hand on the small of her back, sending a slight shudder up her spine. She put her hand on his shoulder and allowed her arm to hang down and be supported by his wherever the two touched.  
  
Hey Jude, don't make it bad.  
  
Take a sad song and make it better.  
  
Remember to let her into your heart,  
  
Then you can start to make it better.  
  
The hand on the small of her back rubbed it in slow circles, making her want to purr contentedly. His eyes locked with hers, and suddenly there was nothing other than the deep brown world of his thoughts.  
  
Hey Jude, don't be afraid.  
  
You were made to go out and get her.  
  
The minute you let her under your skin,  
  
Then you begin to make it better. And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,  
  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.  
  
He slipped his hand out of hers and slid it along her arm until it was caressing her back just above his other hand. She wrapped both arms around his neck and their bodies were suddenly much closer, but their eyes did not break contact, nor did they pause in the slow pivoting dance they danced.  
  
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
  
By making his world a little colder. Hey Jude, don't let me down.  
  
You have found her, now go and get her.  
  
Remember to let her into your heart,  
  
Then you can start to make it better.  
  
The gauzy sleeves slid up her arm until they were below her elbow and snowflakes began to land on her bare forearms. They tingled just barely before they melted and disappeared, the stimulus adding a new level to the feeling that was swelling within her stomach.  
  
So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin,  
  
You're waiting for someone to perform with.  
  
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do,  
  
The movement you need is on your shoulder. Hey Jude, don't make it bad.  
  
Take a sad song and make it better.  
  
Remember to let her under your skin,  
  
Then you'll begin to make it  
  
Better better better better better better, oh. Da da da da da da, da da da, hey Jude...  
  
Slowly, somewhere among the "Da dadadadas", James Potter and Lily Evans shared a small but lovely kiss that convinced both of them that their lives would forever after be changed. No one suggested that it was any less appropriate than a work of art in the Louver. Even Amos Diggory, who watched from the corner of his eye through the entire night, bitterly admitted in his heart that it would be a sin of the worst kind to keep the two of them apart.  
  
"Good night everybody, it's been a fun evening," Mack called as the band exited the Great Hall and couples followed, walking arm and arm back to their respective common rooms.  
  
Lily and James were among the very slowest to exit; neither wanted to depart the dream world they'd created. They stood together, arms linked closely, and then he approached them.  
  
"Have you come to a decision, Evans," the man asked. She could see his face, but he seemed to have no discernable features, and after a glance away, she was not positive that he was the same person who spoke to her. Nevertheless, there was a foulness permeating from him that one did not need Divination to sense.  
  
"I will not concede to evil," she replied, her voice strong and loud, catching the attention of the few teachers who remained in the hall. Dumbledore especially watched her with calculating eyes that seemed to belie his balmy old codger act.  
  
"You refuse to enter the service of the true Lord?" The man repeated the question, his face unreadable and without expression.  
  
"I do," she returned evenly.  
  
"If you do not die quickly, you may be given a second chance to accept the offer, but when you come to Him, He will not be as generous as He might have at first." The messenger smiled without conveying any more emotion than his blank face had. "You will be given a second incentive tomorrow." The man then vanished, as though he could apparate within Hogwarts.  
  
"Who are you talking to, Lily," James asked.  
  
"You didn't see him," she returned, looking puzzled.  
  
"I didn't see anyone," James bit his lip pensively.  
  
"What did your messenger say," Dumbledore asked, making no pretense about approaching them.  
  
"He asked for my decision, twice, and then he told me if I live the offer might be made again. He also said I'd get a second incentive tomorrow. I think he might attack Petty! How is it that he could apparate on the grounds, Headmaster?"  
  
"He couldn't, he was a projection into your mind. You should feel honored; it is a very complicated spell." Lily snorted, and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled appreciatively. "Yes, well, dubious honor that it is, you are obviously more desired than Voldemort wants to admit. I will contact the ministry immediately to pass on your warning."  
  
"I just hope she's safe, Professor." Lily looked down and blinked away a tear.  
  
"She will be," Dumbledore stated strongly. "Do not worry too much about her. You do not yet know for certain that she is the target. I like to believe all of my students are safe at Hogwarts, but James, you might want to take precautions tomorrow. I will not force you to cancel Quidditch practice, but I will insist that you have a professor observing. I also suggest that the two of you, and all of your friends, carry their wands at all times."  
  
"Yes, sir," James replied smartly, squeezing Lily's hand in a reassuring manner.  
  
They then took their leave of the room, and although not a single snowflake had changed, it was somehow less enchanting. Arm in arm and hand in hand they returned to their common room silently. The pair stood just inside the portrait hole, neither wanting to go any closer to the point where they must part.  
  
"James, I... I had a really lovely time tonight," Lily said, her soft eyes meeting his hesitantly.  
  
A "me too" rumbled from deep within his soul and sought its way to her ear, making her smile shyly.  
  
"I should tell you," she stuttered nervously. There were too many things that needed to be said aloud by both of them. James ignored them all and cut her off with a gentle kiss. He only grazed her lips with his own before gazing into her eyes again.  
  
Lily suddenly understood the impulse that had gripped Elizabeth after her first kiss with Sirius. That was all she got? A hand was placed on the boy's cheek, and her lips sought once more for his. Arms enveloped bodies, tongues danced and the space between the separate bodies at any point became entirely negligible.  
  
"I love you," James gasped against her lips, overwhelmed by the heat her slight form was radiating through him.  
  
"I love you too," she whispered before leaning in to capture his tongue once again.  
  
James felt a hand that was strangely not Lily's tapping his shoulder. Loathingly, he removed one of his arms from Lily's side and swatted at the pest. The irritant did not bugger off. He swatted again, but it was no more effective than the first attempt. Finally, he broke his lips away from Lily's and turned his head furiously to face Sirius. "What?" he snapped.  
  
"You're still in the common room, and you're still the head boy and girl," they were informed by the helpful Marauder.  
  
"Oh," Lily said, blushing as she noticed a few younger children who had yet to go up to bed. James did not release her from his arms, but he didn't move to kiss her again.  
  
"Thank you for the reminder, Padfoot," he said, not looking as thankful as he might.  
  
"Of course, old boy," Sirius said, skipping back to the girls' stairwell where he was bidding adieu to Elizabeth. By the time that couple had finally parted, Lily and James had made the long journey to that position.  
  
"Sirius," Lily called, just as the boy was leaving to give them a little privacy.  
  
"Yes, Madam Lillian?"  
  
"Will you do me a favor?"  
  
"Anything for you my dear," he stated, bowing admirably.  
  
"Keep both eyes on James' back tomorrow. He probably doesn't like me telling, but odds are, someone close to me will be killed tomorrow." Sirius looked astonished. He'd been expecting a drink order or a homework request. James squeezed Lily's side to comfort her a little.  
  
"I always have Prongs' back," Sirius stated firmly, "but I'll be on double guard tomorrow. Thanks for letting me know something is up."  
  
"Thank you, Sirius," Lily said, and Sirius turned once more to give them privacy. They kissed once more, softly, both fighting desperately not to get lost in one another.  
  
"Goodnight," James said, managing to pry all of his body, except one hand that refused to untangle from her fingers, away from her. "May sleep give you all of its rest."  
  
Lily smiled and returned the quote, "With half that wish the wisher's eyes be pressed." Unfortunately, Shakespeare demanded a second kiss and their bodies drew together a second time, although not quite as closely.  
  
"Sweet dreams," Lily said, managing to break away from him fully. She then smiled broadly and turned, sprinting up to her dorm before she was forced to fly into his arms again.  
  
"To you as well," James whispered, knowing she couldn't hear him.  
  
Lily cuddled deeper into her comforter, the Sunday morning sunshine dancing playfully on her eyelids. James loved her. She relived their first kiss on the dance floor with all of its perfection. Moving to the second kiss, Lily could feel all of that same fire she felt when she forgot they were in public and longed to pull him closer than he could possibly get.  
  
Lily looked at the clock. He would be at Quidditch practice by now, so there was no chance of really repeating even the third kiss of the night before, brief and swift though it was. Lily sat up smiling and glanced around the room to where Elizabeth was still sleeping with a dopey grin on her face. Lily hopped out of bed and went to take a bath. She was the only one in the tub, so she filled it with all of her favorite bubbles and scents.  
  
Lily was usually a business-like bather, but today she frolicked and sang love songs. She was happy with James. There are few feelings that can compare to falling in love with ones soul mate, and Lily was riding the euphoria as far as it would take her. She sprang out of the tub on an impulse and danced through the bathroom as she dried her hair and got into her uniform. She slipped and almost fell at one point, but it in no way made her dance less or act more cautiously.  
  
Elizabeth was awake and clothed when Lily returned to the dormitory, and there appeared to be an unspoken agreement between them to go together to the pitch and watch the team practice. As chipper as she was, however, Lily still broke the first rule of shameless admiration by bringing her transfiguration text book.  
  
They boys practiced beautifully, and James, as always, flew like a falcon. In between paragraphs, Lily looked up in awe as he practiced difficult moves with his fellow chasers. Watching the Gryffindor team practice was almost like watching a real game. Three beaters (there was one reserve) slammed the bludgers around the field at one another trying to keep them away from the other players. Peter and the reserve seeker took turns throwing and chasing after walnuts while the chasers and the keeper practiced difficult ploys.  
  
Around noon, people started complaining to James, so he let the team stop for lunch and told them there would be practices every day that week in preparation for the Saturday match against Ravenclaw. Sirius groaned jokingly, and Peter pretended to fall off of his broom in shock. "Lily, don't let him do it to us," Charity Wood, the keeper, pleaded mockingly.  
  
"I don't care what you do the rest of the week," Lily called back, "Just give me my boyfriend now so we can go to lunch!" The team laughed and everyone but Sirius and James broke for the locker rooms.  
  
"As ordered," James said, hopping onto his broom and flying into the stands where Lily sat. She pulled him off of the broomstick and kissed him, rather surprising the poor boy who stumbled before throwing his arms around her.  
  
"Yuck," she whispered happily against his lips. "You're all sweaty."  
  
He smiled and kissed her again. "Do you mind?"  
  
"Yes," she said suddenly before she sank too deeply in him to forget herself. "I'm hungry, go change so we can eat."  
  
He laughed at her and broke away. "As ordered," he said, smiling while he grabbed Sirius away from Elizabeth and the two went to change out of their Quidditch robes.  
  
At dinner, Lily received an owl from the Ministry of Magic informing her that Petunia was still perfectly safe and there had been no suspicious happenings that could imply an attack later in the evening. They promised to stay completely on guard, but thus far she had no reasons to worry. She was relieved by the news, but Lily still worried about her friends. There was no doubt in her mind that an 'incentive' would come today, and by ten pm she was so frazzled with waiting that she decided to go out and see Prongs even if it wasn't late enough for her to sneak out easily.  
  
"Do you want to borrow my Invisibility Cloak," James offered, looking concerned.  
  
"I'm taking the window, and Prongs won't come unless he can see me," Lily said, grateful that he was offering. Not long ago, Lily could remember having to beg and bribe to use the cloak for her own purposes.  
  
"Can't you just stay here and talk to me," James asked. "I'm worried about you going out on the grounds alone, especially today."  
  
"I'll be fine," Lily said, kissing him softly and getting a hoot from the Marauders who were playing Gobstones on the floor next to the couple. "And," she added, standing up, "I don't need to worry about what Prongs thinks when I talk to him."  
  
"Since when do you care what I think," James muttered, pouting as she went up to the girls' dormitory.  
  
"You don't have time to sit there whining," Remus said, an amused expression on his face, "You have to run if you're planning to be out there before she goes into the Forbidden Forest."  
  
James was going to make a snappy reply, but instead he just sprinted up to the boys' dorm for the cloak and his map.  
  
"Hey Prongs," Lily said, reaching a hand out to stroke his neck. As her fingertips met the soft, coarse fur of her friend, something happened that had never before occurred. Lily Evans had a premonition. The premonition was not merely a feeling like many wizards occasionally get, but a vision. Lily knew. She jerked her hand away as though it had been burned. She did burn.  
  
"James Potter, if you don't transform right now I will never speak to you again so help me God," she spat lividly. James weighed his options, none of which would lead to very good outcomes, and morphed slowly back to his human form.  
  
"Hi Lily," he said, not meeting her eyes.  
  
"Explain," she demanded, not quite as angry as he feared her to be.  
  
"Well, you know about Remus. When Padfoot and I found out, we did some research, and werewolves aren't a danger to animals, so we studied a lot, and fifth year the Marauders managed to become animagi. It helps him keep his sanity to be with his friends," James rambled quickly.  
  
"James, I don't give a fig that you're an illegal animagus. Explain," she repeated irritably.  
  
"Well, I couldn't tell at first without Remus' secret being known," he said nervously, noting the way her eyes narrowed. "Then," he swallowed, "I didn't want to tell. You were telling me the sort of things I'd given up all hope of hearing. I didn't want to jeopardize that by telling you I was a spy, and I wanted to keep on knowing your secrets."  
  
"Damn you," Lily said shortly, turning her back to him but not walking away. "I really want to be mad at you about this. You never had to have a moment of uncertainty, did you? I was confessing all of my fears to you, and you always knew what my response would be when you asked a question. You had an unfair advantage. I really want to be mad at you," she repeated.  
  
James didn't know what to do. "Are you," he asked somewhere between hopefully and fearfully.  
  
She spun around to glare at him. "What do you think? Am I mad? You had no right to keep meeting with me like that, you didn't have to tell me anything, you just had to stop coming!" She advanced on him, and it took every ounce of his Gryffindor courage not to back away. He knew he deserved the slap that was coming.  
  
Lily shocked both of them by touching his cheek gently, then kissing him passionately. "And," she said softly, breaking the kiss, "I would have done exactly the same thing in your position." He wrapped his arms around her waist, hardly believing his luck, and kissed her back.  
  
"Where's James," Lily asked, bouncing up to the game of Gobstones in the boys' dormitory.  
  
"Um," all three Marauders stuttered and looked around nervously. "I don't know," Peter said. "Do you know, Sirius?"  
  
It was like a bad Three Stooges skit. "I don't know," Sirius said. "Do you know, Remus?"  
  
"He got the Invisibility cloak and left," Remus said, meeting Lily's gaze head on. He never lied to her, but he wouldn't give away his friend. "He might have gone to the kitchen for a snack. You know James, the bottomless pit."  
  
James slipped off the Invisibility cloak behind Lily. "See, Remus would have ratted me out eventually," he said, taking her hand. The Marauders stared at them dumbfounded.  
  
Lily picked up a scroll from the floor and hit Sirius over the head with it. "You let me think I saw a Grim, you jerk! I was mortified that my good friend Sirius was going to die and he knew it was a lie!" He grinned sheepishly and she returned the smile. "I'm going to go to bed now. We have class tomorrow, and I've had far too much excitement for one night."  
  
"Goodnight, Lils," the three chorused while James walked her out of the room to give her a sweet-dreams kiss.  
  
"You lucked out with that girl," Peter stated firmly when James joined the game. No one contradicted him. 


End file.
